15 Perfectly Innocent Things That Hereditary Has Ruined For Me Forever

Updated on June 21, 2018 at 7:10 PM

The following contains big spoilers for Hereditary.

The best types of movies have a profound effect on the way you see the world. For example, The Shawshank Redemption might change the way you look at the criminal justice system, or Apocalypse Now might alter your views on war.

Well, Hereditary changed my view on pigeons.

There are several moments in the haunting horror film that will forever affect your attitude toward perfectly innocent items or experiences, purely because the film is that scary. Gone are the days when you'd walk by parked cars at nighttime without a second glance, or when you could happily snack on a brownie with walnuts. No more! And let me tell you, it's worth it.

If you can handle the all-encompassing sense of dread that will fill your body long after the credits roll, then you're in for a treat with this film. And if not . . . well, let's just say you should use humor to distract yourself from dwelling on the deep terror that you've experienced.

Ahead, let's reminisce about the 15 things that Hereditary has irreversibly tainted. At least we're all in this together, right?

Arts and crafts

Creepy miniatures? Really? Let's add dollhouses to this list, too.

Breastfeeding

Dammit, satanic grandma!

Pigeons

I'll never look at these feathery friends the same way again.

Walnuts

I don't even have an allergy, but I'll never be able to un-see Toni Collette banging her head against the attic door in time with chopping nuts.

Ann Dowd

Somehow, she now seems tame in The Handmaid's Tale.

Ceiling corners

. . . you know why.

Desks

As a matter of fact, let's just make it classrooms altogether.

Whatever the hell these glasses are

Unless they're a doctor performing a precise life-saving surgery, nobody has permission to wear these around me.

Tongue-clucking noises

Don't cluck your tongue at me unless you're comfortable being punched or doused with holy water.

Cars

Specifically if it's nighttime and Toni Collette is sitting in the front seat, or if there's a passenger with a nut allergy.

Rearview mirrors

My future children are just gonna have to take the bus.

My own reflection

Catch me avoiding mirrors at all costs!

Making new friends

"No new friends." — Drake, and also me now.

Cracked doors

Leave them wide open or close them all the way!

Family dinner

I've had a lifetime of happy dinners with my parents, but now I've got the scene of Hereditary's casual onslaught of vicious verbal abuse seared into my brain.