FitSugar

8 Emotionally Unhealthy Things to Give Up For Lent

Colleen Barrett — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 07:00:37 PST

Whether you're Christian or not, Lent is good time to detox; literally if you partied for Mardi Gras, and figuratively, if you're everyone else. It's like God's Spring cleaning. A time to renew vows for lapsed New Year's resolutions if you will.

This year consider giving up some emotional baggage with these unhealthy behaviors and relationships.

Your ex: Well, only if you want to! Whether you're still seeing him or working up the courage to defriend him, make today an ending and a beginning.
Fakeness: Stop smiling when you don't mean it; your face will freeze that way. And nobody wants a permanent fake smile, because they put us in bad moods.
Toxic friends: If anyone in your life consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, sever the ties today. Here are eight ways to recognize toxic people in your life.
Mean-spirited gossip: Or maybe you've gotten a little toxic? We all have at some point. Promise not to start any hateful chatter - there are healthy ways to do it - and change the subject if someone else starts. Once you break the habit, you may find it's quite pleasant.
Snooping: Is your Internet snooping out of control? Snooping is like a drug, but it's not called Charlie Sheen. Still, once you start, you can't stop. Try anyway - even if it's just to see how long you'll last. You might be surprised.
Oversharing online: Posting your whole life on the Internet can feel like socializing, but it's gotten a bad rap. Ask yourself a few questions: what's your motivation? Who do you want to see it? Do you want a response? Is it TMI? In short, think before you post.
Dating "just nice" guys: We all want to date nice guys, but nice is not enough. Ditch your guilt, rally your self-confidence, and say, "No more Mr. Just Nice guy."
Your comfort zone: Start dating, stop dating, take a class, travel alone, or just change your daily routine - whatever! Most people find a piece of happiness on the outside.

Are you ditching anything that's bringing you down?

Do You Feel Comfortable Naked?

FitSugar — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:00:00 PDT

Jennifer Love Hewitt has had her share of body issues and media. However, these days she's making sure you know that she's perfectly happy with the way she looks. In fact she told Health magazine in a recent interview that now that she's nearly 30, she wishes she had been nude from the time she was 12 until 28.

This got me to thinking because a lot of us have issues being nude (alone or in front of someone else) and unfortunately for many of us it's because we're not happy with our weight. It's too bad because the body truly is a beautiful thing. I love that JLH says, "I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer-and enjoy it. I want to tell them to never, ever feel bad about anything." Amen sister!

But for some, this is much easier said than done. So I am still wondering about you guys . . . do you feel comfortable naked?

Minutes to a Healthier You . . .

FitSugar — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:00:00 PDT

It's not the hours we spend at the gym that makes a difference in our health, it's the little things too.

Recent research has found that simply being happy can lengthen your life 7.5 to 10 years. So take time each day to relax and reflect on the positives. I like to write down five positive things that happened in my journal each night to remind myself of the joys I might easily forget the next day. It only takes a few minutes to do, but it provides a wealth of happiness for me - and apparently it is extending my life as well.

Source

Phillip Phillips Is America's New Idol

Katie Henry — Wed, 23 May 2012 22:30:22 PDT

American Idol closed out its 11th season in LA tonight and crowned Phillip Phillips the winner! The two-hour season finale brought out some of music's biggest stars like Rihanna, Chaka Khan, John Fogerty, and Dream Girls legend Jennifer Holliday, who joined finalist Jessica Sanchez on stage for an unforgettable duet of "And I'm Telling You." The judges also got in on the action. Steven Tyler and Aerosmith performed a medley of songs while Jennifer Lopez flashed her abs in a studded bra and got the crowd on their feet with her latest dance track, "Follow the Leader." The evening was packed with exciting moments, including a marriage proposal. Former contestant Ace Young got down on one knee and popped the question to girlfriend, and Idol's season three runner-up, Diana DeGarmo.

Following the results and Phillips's emotional performance of his first single, "Home," he headed backstage to chat with press about his long road to tonight's finale, and how he's processing the win. Phillip said of his big win, "It's so unreal . . . it hasn't sunk in yet, it's just such a blessing to have." Phillip was humble talking about his own success, but Jessica was quick to compliment her competitor, saying, "When they announced it was Phillip I was so happy. I love him so much; he deserved it. He's been having to keep up with his health issues; he's been through a lot more than us, both mentally and physically." Season 11 was full of excitement for the contestants and the judges. However, we'll have to wait and see if J Lo returns for season 12.

Fit Philosophy: Ginnifer Goodwin

Michele Foley — Tue, 22 May 2012 00:02:27 PDT

Happy birthday, Ginnifer Goodwin! The Once Upon a Time star turns 34 today, and to celebrate we're taking a look at how Ginnifer stays active and fit in her daily life.

Always on the go: Ginnifer often credits living in health-conscious LA for her active lifestyle. Whether she's going to Ballet Body or The Bar Method, her workouts gravitate toward leotards, the barre, and pliés. She also turns everyday excursions into an excuse to power walk, "I'll speed-walk a couple of miles, get a cup of coffee, speed-walk back. It’s so easy. Just break a sweat for 30 minutes and you’re fine."

It's a lifestyle not a diet: An outspoken fan of Weight Watchers, she credits the diet program for helping her maintain a healthy weight in realistic ways. She told People, "It takes time because you lose the weight slowly . . . You don't have to go through that horrible yo-yo cycle of binging." Even when counting points, Ginnifer can indulge in treats like her favorite dark chocolate or a pasta dinner. Ginnifer maintains a sense of balance when it comes to eating, so she never has to feel deprived.

Health is more than just weight loss: For Ginnifer, being healthy means being confident, feeling less stressed, and maintaining a well-rounded perspective in her life. She told Health, "Healthy is beautiful. Because what comes with health is a clear mind and a high spirit. When I’m not healthy, I can’t think straight, and I’m unhappy. I’ll realize that I’m an emotional mess, and it’s because I’m dehydrated. Or I’m cold and cranky, and it’s because I’m not exercising and my circulation is poor."

How Not to Destroy Your Marriage

The Good Men Project — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:30:42 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Today, Mark Tyrrell offers eight relationship tools to make your marriage work.

"All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble." - Raymond Hull

So how do you make your marriage work? Or do you just blindly hope it'll take care of itself?

Think of a hot, successful date with someone you’re attracted to. You have fun, great conversation and more sexual chemistry than a warehouse full of pheromones. You don’t have to “work at” the date because it’s self sustaining. It runs as smoothly as the gliding hand of a classical guitar maestro and you can’t wait for another rendition.

Teenage Dating in a Twilight-Hunger Games World

But marriage, or any long term relationship; well that’s a whole other caboodle.

If we’re not careful, marriage can deteriorate into little more than a torturous assault course; littered with routine boredoms, frustrations and resentments. Couple all that with external pressures and sometimes marriage feels not worth the effort. But there are major benefits to being hitched or committed, other than just a beneficial tax regime.

Healthy marriage; healthy people.

Being happily married bestows heaps of health benefits. You might be forgiven for thinking that if you’re married you don’t live longer it just seems like it but, no, a good marriage really can help you clock up more years (1) and married people are happier (2) even though they don’t always look it from the outside.

But when marriage doesn’t work it can feel being manacled to a maniac, marooned with a misogynist or nailed to a nag. And I don’t care what the studies say, that’s not healthy. You may hear couples say stuff like: “We are making our marriage work!” but how do we do this?

Making it work.

We pay lip service to “working on the marriage” but what is the work we need to do? Marriage vows such as “to love and to cherish” and “forsaking all others, for better or for worse” don’t really tell us how to make it work, although they give us a clue.

Fortunately a ton of research has been done on what to do and not do to make your marriage, or any intimate relationship work. Follow the guidelines here to become “good at marriage."

Tip one: Be romantic but keep it real.

We are all (force?) fed romance in movies and novels. The handsome man gets the beautiful woman. But what I wonder is what happens after our romantic couple ride off into the sunset together? What do they do exactly? Bicker? Moan at one another? Start to ignore each other?

After all that romance, our beautiful couple is bound to have massive expectations of their life together. But when rose tinted expectations clash with day to reality, watch out!

Romance is vital in any relationship. Always seeing the best in your partner helps to keep things intimate and love should be expressed. But if you have been raised on Mills and Boon Romance novels or feel-good movies, then your own romantic expectations can work against the sustainability of your long term relationship.

When day to day life fails to live up to the giddy, heady lust-filled days of the pre-settled down romance people can become angry, even blame one another: “This wasn’t what I signed up for." They find it hard to take the rough with the smooth because they never really figured there would be any rough.

Expectations not diluted with at least a dash of realism can be a royal road to relationship ruin. Your partner may be an angel, but they have feet of clay. You must learn to love those feet or at least accept them a bit!

Get the rest after the jump!

How to Establish Financial Independence

Kiplinger — Mon, 14 May 2012 00:15:54 PDT

Becoming completely financially independent can be scary, but it's also very liberating. Kiplinger gives advice on how to establish your financial independence.

Not only is it difficult for us twentysomethings to wholeheartedly embrace adulthood, it's often also a challenge for our parents to let us go. Baby-boomer parents are generally known for mollycoddling their children, even after we move out of the house and into our own adult lives. Some parents have shown up for their kids' job interviews, and others have called up human resource departments at their adult kids' workplaces to complain about bad performance reviews or to negotiate salaries on behalf of their children.

They may mean well, but such extreme helicopter parents are actually hindering their children from growing into independent adults. "If a child is receiving too much help, then they have no incentive to succeed or become independent," says Erin Baehr, of the financial planning firm Baehr Family Financial, in Stroudsburg, Pa. "They may also be setting themselves up for some possible financial trouble down the road."

We certainly don't want that. At the same time, as young adults, we shouldn't be so dead set on finding our independence that we end up punishing ourselves by turning down valuable financial guidance and support from Mom and Dad.

So how about meeting in the middle? You can stay open to your parents' assistance but also set limits on how involved in your life you want them to be. For example, when it comes to parental career advice, Marty Martin, a financial psychologist at Aequus Wealth Management Resources, in Chicago, suggests you say, "Mom and Dad, I would really appreciate any advice you may have before I go to my job interview, and I will contact you after it happens. But I really need to do this on my own."

Read on for more.

Meeting My Sperm Donor

The Good Men Project — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 10:00:50 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Ben Sommer, conceived through alternative insemination, is a young man now and tells the story of deciding to meet his donor.

I grew up in a middle-class home in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with two loving parents, both of whom are women. My conception was perhaps the most organized and scientific miracle of the modern American family - my architecture, the dream of dozens of individuals conducting their work across thousands of miles.

Objectifying Ryan Gosling

I was conceived through alternative insemination. A donor submitted his sperm to the Sperm Bank of California in Oakland (TSBC). Later, it was sent to the Fenway Community Health Center in Boston. Since opening its doors in 1982, TSBC has helped families without the ability to conceive on their own to birth over 2,000 children. Two thirds of those have ended up, like me, being raised in a lesbian household. TSBC is also the first sperm bank to offer a donor-identity-release program, which allows children of alternative insemination access to their donors' information when they turn 18.

I am not as much an oddity as you might think. As of 2005, some 270,000 children in the United States had same sex-parents. We are a generation that is just now beginning to come of age and able to share our stories. This is mine.

Growing up in a lesbian household was much like growing up in any other family unit, I imagine: vacations to Cape Cod, parents working late and sometimes not, play dates with a diverse group of friends.

I never gave much thought to that mysterious figure across the country. I never questioned the fact that I didn't have a father. As far as I was concerned I didn't need one. Is having two moms really all that different than having a mom and a dad? Parents are parents, right? I didn't see a difference at the time. My parents didn't either - at least at first.

They decided to conceive through a donor, in part, to avoid the complications that a third parent would bring. Asking a close male friend to donate, like some couples have done, can create unforeseen consequences. In the past, there have been custody battles between the donor and the parents raising the child. This was the case with a friend of mine, whose parents arranged donation from a male family friend. With a semi-anonymous donor like the man my parents chose, it would be clear who my parents were. And it was.

That's not to say that it was smooth sailing. "When we first learned you were going to be a boy, we really panicked," my mother told me recently. "Who's going to teach him to throw a ball? We didn't have many male friends. There was even basic stuff, like who's going to teach him to pee standing up. That doesn't come naturally."

Read the rest of the story below.

What Does a Doula Do?

LilSugar — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:26:27 PDT

World Doula Week is underway right now (March 22-28), and its purpose is to empower doulas worldwide to improve the health (mental, physical, social, and emotional) of women in the birth and postpartum period. The word doula translates from Greek to mean "women's servant." But what does that encompass in today's society? Test your knowledge of what exactly a doula does, as compared to a doctor or a midwife.

Take the Quiz

Community Roundup: Do Sweets Make Us Sad?

TresSugar — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 02:00:27 PST

Foods and feelings - Mydisfunkshion
How we affect the people around us - Rules to Live By
An engagement story - Learn From My Mistakes
Loving my boyfriend while being attracted to women - Lesbian and Bisexual Support
Trust issues in relationships - Do, Dump, or Marry
Someone asked me if I'm pregnant today, and I'm not! - Group Therapy