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7 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

BabyCenter — Wed, 09 May 2012 08:03:19 PDT

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Katherine Martin about phrases that should never be uttered to a pregnant woman.
Pregnancy is one of those times in life, similar to having a newborn, where almost everyone you meet will offer some kind of advice or have a comment. Most of it is very sweet and it can be life affirming to see how much others care. However, some of the questions or comments can be insulting, stupid and even infuriating.

Part of it is curiosity, I'm sure. But still, there are certain things that just get frustrating and annoying to be asked about or expected to talk about, especially with strangers or casual acquaintances.

So, my list, aided by a discussion by the July 2012 Birth Club of the top 7 things not to say to a pregnant woman:

"You're HUGE!!!" - Poor Jessica Simpson was a lesson to us all about how judgmental people can get about a pregnant woman's weight gain. Just leave this unsaid.
"You're TINY!!!" - The opposite of "you're huge!", but it can still be worrying to be told you look abnormally small when growing a human. Sometimes this comment is well intentioned, but most pregnant women just want to be told they look healthy.
"You're just upset because of hormones." - This should be self explanatory, but if someone is upset the last thing you should do is minimize their feelings and blame them on hormones. Sure, it may be true sometimes, but pointing out someone is hormonal almost never goes over well for anyone involved.
"Is your husband/boyfriend/fiancé the father?" - Definitely do not ask this. Enough said.
"Your boobs/butt are huge!!!" - Just because a woman is gestating a baby doesn't open up every body part for comment. I remember being mortified when someone pointed out my boobs were huge and an entire room of people's eyes immediately went there. No need.
"Should you be eating/drinking that?" - My Starbucks is decaf, thank you very much or it's part of my daily allowed caffeine. Let's just all take a break from being the pregnancy police.
"Was it planned?" - This is the top thing not to ask because do you seriously want the answer? Are you looking to talk about birth control? Do you want details of the woman's sex life? Let's just all agree this question is extraordinarily personal and probably never in good tact to ask.

Well that sure feels better to get this all out there. Phew!

What would you add to the list of things not to say to a pregnant woman? Or how did you respond to any of these questions or comments?

More great reads from BabyCenter:
12 sweet teacher appreciation gifts
7 gifts for the mom who never shops for herself
How to keep your baby safe in the ER
7 delicious watermelon desserts
6 tech Mother's Day gifts that will make her go "awww"

Source: Flickr User molly_darling

5 Christian Grey Career and Money Mistakes to Avoid

Emily Co — Tue, 08 May 2012 10:53:57 PDT

One of the reasons why women love billionaire Christian Grey of the famed 50 Shades of Grey novel is that he isn't perfect. He's flawed, which suits the trilogy's underlying theme of bad boy reformation. Because of his complicated upbringing and stunted adulthood, Christian makes a lot of mistakes in all aspects of his life, which includes career and money decisions. Here are some Christian Grey mistakes we should avoid (watch out for spoilers!):

Mixing business with pleasure. When Christian finds himself smitten with the book's main character, Anastasia Steele, he offers her an internship at his company. His offer is a means to get to know Steele better, which isn't a healthy way to start a relationship. Try not to mix business with pleasure, and work with someone just because you're interested in them. Keep in mind that if things go sour, you'll end up having to work with the person and it just adds another layer of complication to the relationship.

Not acknowledging your partner's money style. Although Ana feels uncomfortable with using Christian's money, the tortured billionaire almost forces his lavish lifestyle on her - buying her a car, laptop, and BlackBerry from the get-go. You need to acknowledge your partner's style of spending and living and both of you need to come to an agreement together. Money is one of the biggest issues that couples fight about, so both sides need to respect each other's opinions and meet halfway to compromise.

Prenup, prenup, prenup. When Christian marries Ana, he does not want a prenup and goes into a rage when his dad suggests signing one. What Christian needs to understand is that a prenup doesn't mean that you're betting against the marriage. It's also a good step to openly discussing finances, which is a healthy move for couples to make.

Read on for more Christian Grey mistakes.

8 Reasons You're Not Ready For A Relationship

YourTango — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 04:00:51 PDT

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. You may want a relationship, but the real question is “are you ready?” Your answer may surprise you.

I know what you’re thinking right now - “of course I’m ready for a relationship - it’s what I’ve been waiting so long for! I just need to know how I can get one started!”

Well, I’m certainly not arguing that you want a real relationship; I’m asking if you’re ready for a real relationship. That one’s tough to answer, because it entails really looking at yourself and your beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors in a real, open, and honest way. And that’s never easy.

One thing I can tell you is that I’ve been there. I’ve been in that spot where all I could think about was how I so wanted a real relationship, with all of the affection, understanding, support, and love that comes with it. And that’s when I asked myself this very same question, and I realized that I didn’t like the answer. I had some major changing to do.

So how do you know if you’re ready for a relationship before you start one with either the wrong guy or Mr. Right at the wrong time?

Well, if you’re showing any of these warning signs, it means you’re not ready for a relationship and you have some work to do on yourself before you can be in a healthy, happy relationship with someone else.

Your compass is not pointing north. Your great guy compass is off, and it's consistently pointing you to the wrong type of guy. This typically happens because you’re subconsciously trying to sabotage the relationship from the beginning by choosing a guy who’s not actually relationship material. Your friends and family have warned you that he’s a player, or a loser, or a (enter your favorite derogatory term for a bad boyfriend here), but you’ve written them off, believing that you’re going to be the one woman that can change him into the perfect partner. No, the truth is that inside you know you won’t change him, and that’s actually OK with you, because you subconsciously fear a deep relationship.
You need a guy to feel happy. You feel miserable unless you’re coupled up. If you get an invite to a party or event, and you don’t have a guy to bring, then you’re likely to make up an excuse, send your regrets, pass up the night out and sit at home feeling sorry for yourself because you are oh so alone. Then you spend the entire night googling “best places to meet men” and reading articles about what men find attractive instead of doing something would make you happy (like going to the party you were invited to.) The truth is that if you did meet a great guy while in this mindset, you’d hold on so tight so quickly that you’d most likely strangle the relationship anyway. Find what makes you happy before you’re in a relationship, then find someone to share that happiness with.

Written by Jane Garapick for YourTango.

From the Community: Everything You Need to Know About CrossFit

Fit Community — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 01:22:23 PDT

FitSugar reader meetcasey interviewed CrossFit expert Robert Sax, owner of the CrossFit Amped Gym, and posted the Q&A in our Get Fit For 2012 community group. Check out what Robert had to say about this rising fitness trend!

Meet the Expert: Robert Sax

Can you begin by telling us a little about yourself?

I am 27 years old and a Capricorn (yes, that’s the goat). I’m originally from Portland, ME (the first Portland), and I currently live in Bellevue, WA. I graduated from Springfield College in Massachusetts with a BS in exercise science. I own CrossFit Amped, coach during the day, fight crime at night, and occasionally put down an entire jar of fresh-grind almond butter. Mmmmmm, fat!

What is CrossFit?

Textbook definition: it is constantly varied functional movements executed at a high intensity. CliffsNotes version: constantly changing workouts that involve body weight movements, gymnastics, aerobic and anaerobic training, Olympic lifting, power lifting, strongman movements, and anything else my twisted mind can conjure up! It is a universally scalable platform for exercise that allows any man or woman of any age and ability level to participate. I have worked with every walk of life and haven’t been stumped yet. In fact, I am currently coaching two men who are deaf, which was a challenge at first because of the amount of detail needed to comprehend and apply to certain movement patterns. Now it is no problem. In fact, I’ve learned some sign language because of it!

Learn more about what a CrossFit workout is and how it can change your body after the break

5 Ways To Leave Your Lover

YourTango — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:00:06 PST

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

An accomplished, smart and beautiful woman sits across from me in my office. She tells me about her relationship; the one she appears to be in but her boyfriend doesn't. She has tried to leave him, she assures me (and herself), but every time she manages to walk out that door, he gets to her. She turns around and walks right back in again. Once she's back, he acts like a jerk. Again. Leave. Get sucked back in. Repeat.

Who can't relate to this scenario? God knows, I've been there. Before meeting my husband-to-be, I was in a relationship with a guy who would only show interest in me after I decided to break up with him. To get me back into his orbit he would swear I was the love of his life. As soon as I returned, he would go cold as a dead snake on an iceberg.

What made me take him back more times than was healthy for anyone's tender self-esteem?

We give ourselves a lot of reasons, but the bottom line is that when we allow a guy to treat us as less important than we really are, our self-esteem is critically injured. Once our self-worth is low it is too easy for the ex to come over the wall of our good defenses and pillage what's left of our confidence.

4 Steps to Silence Your Self-Critic, Improve Self-Esteem, & Free Yourself From Guilt & Shame
What remains is fear. Fear that this jerky guy is as good as it gets. Fear of never finding love again. Fear of being alone with a dozen hungry cats for the rest of your life. This fear is so awful we make excuses (cognitive distortions) to stay in a bad or even a 'not good enough' relationship. After all, he's a known entity...right?

Result? The discomfort of sticking with him is not nearly as scary as what your distorted thinking is imagining life without him is like. So you stay put. What's a girl to do? Fight back those nasty, distorted, self-esteem abusing thoughts with empowering, righteous, healthy goddess thoughts, of course!

Here are some typical distorted thoughts with which we lie to ourselves and suggestions for strong self-esteem building self-talk to combat them:

Instead of, "I'm afraid of being alone." Tell yourself, "I am not alone. I'm with Me. I am good company. If I get lonely, I can check out meetup.com or connect with friends I haven't seen in ages. Most importantly, this time is an opportunity to dive into the world of Me and, for a change, listen to my heart first rather than someone else's!"
Instead of, "But the sex is so good!": Tell yourself, "Sweetie, it's time to grow up. The toxic effect he has on my self-esteem when we're not in bed is not worth the price. If I am that horny, I might just explore the exotic, erotic world of self-stimulation. A lot of people say their best orgasms are experienced alone!"

Get the other ideas when you finish reading the rest of the story on YourTango: 5 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Written by Dr. Elvira Aletta for YourTango.

Earn More Money By Changing Up Your Office Space

LearnVest — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:15:07 PST

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

Most of us spend about 40 hours per week at work - in other words, the majority of our waking hours.

And nearly all of those hours are spent sitting at our desks. It’s a definite problem - and not just because we’re missing happy hour or quality couch time at home.

There’s no shortage of discouraging research pointing out the evils of a sedentary lifestyle and claiming that sitting will actually shorten our lives.

But, conversely, making a few tweaks to the way you sit - and the space you sit in - all day has been proven to make you a happier, healthier worker, busy earning your killer salary.

And, scientists say, the happier you are, the more you tend to earn.

In an effort to make the time spent at our desks as productive (and as profitable) as possible, we’ve combed the research for the easiest, most effective tips to soothe your mind and body when trapped in a cubicle . . . or corner office.

Just follow these four steps.

1. Make It Comfy

When we say “comfy,” we mean “ergonomic.” It’s an unfriendly word for a friendly concept: basically it means “intended to provide optimum comfort and to avoid stress or injury.” Friendly, right? Besides, an awkward workspace can lead to major health issues, including disorders in your joints or tendons, so a little tweaking of your cubicle can go a long way for your well-being. Line up your body correctly by following these two principles:

Your feet should be flat on the floor and your elbows should be even with your desk. This can be achieved either through adjustable chairs or - if chairs are a hot commodity at your office - a combination of step stools and pillows.

Read on for more tips.

4 More Facts You Don't Know About Calories

Prevention — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 04:08:37 PST

We are excited to share one of our fave stories from Prevention here on FitSugar!

Only 12 percent of Americans can estimate the calories they eat in a day! Find out why we're so clueless and get easy ways to stop calorie confusion
By Mara Betsch, Prevention

You know what calories are, and you probably know that if you eat too many, you'll gain weight. But do you know how many are in your favorite deli sandwich? Or how many calories you should really eat each day? Most Americans don’t. Only 12 percent can accurately estimate the number of calories they should consume in a day someone their age, height, weight, and physical activity, according to a 2010 survey by the International Food Information Council Foundation. So what is it about calories that keeps us baffled? Last month, we shared some reasons you might be confused about calories - here are four more and the simple steps that will help you do the math.

1. Exercise makes you hungry
Though studies are mixed when it comes to whether exercise actually stimulates or suppresses appetite, many people think of working out as a way to eat whatever they like. "There’s definitely a mentality of 'I have sweated therefore I deserve,'" says Bonci. However, with most people burning about 100 calories per mile, a short workout won't give you a free pass to eat junk food. "If you walk two miles, eating a handful of chips post-workout can undo the calories you burned," says Bonci. As mentioned above, gym machines don’t accurately measure calories burned, either.

Stop the confusion: To stop an after-workout binge, fuel up pre-gym, Zied suggests. "Have something before - something with carbs and a little protein, like whole wheat toast and peanut butter or a banana and milk." Depending on the intensity of your workout, you may need something afterward as well. After a workout longer than 45 minutes, you should aim to eat about 200 calories.

Tips to Stop Overeating After Workouts

2. Liquid calories are ignored
"People are spending hundreds of calories on beverages each day," says Zied. Unfortunately, a lot of those calories are from sugar-sweetened drinks and alcohol, not milk and 100 percent fruit juice. According to a 2007 study, beverage intake accounted for roughly 12 percent of total calories in 1965 and steadily increased to 21 percent in 2002 - that's 222 extra calories a day from drinks alone! Because bottled drinks often contain multiple servings, it’s best to either pour a serving in a glass or look for mini soda cans and juice boxes.

Keep reading for more info about calories and weight loss after the break.

13 Signs You’re Too Busy

LearnVest — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:15:38 PDT

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

There’s busy.

Then there’s too busy.

Busy is running from one appointment to the next. Too busy is running over someone on your way to the next appointment (physically, vehicularly, whatever). Busy is leaving your cell phone behind at the grocery store. Too busy is leaving your kid behind at the grocery store.

And then there’s the biggest of all ironies-we want to cut back, but frankly, we just don’t have the time to figure out how to do it.

Sound familiar? Well, we’re here to do an intervention-a time intervention. Today, we’ll help you figure out if your life is starting to burst at the seams when it comes to your time. If it is, you need a wake-up call to reset priorities, because there is no shakier foundation for healthy, balanced living (and healthy, balanced money management) than not having the space and breathing room that time provides in our lives.

If you’ve crossed over the line into too busy, you’ll need to reset your foundation: Maybe it means taking a day off from work to reassess your life priorities. Maybe it means evaluating what your time is worth and outsourcing chores like housekeeping or laundry. Maybe it means taking a break from social engagements for a little while to focus on building the right foundation.

Here are 13 signs that you might need a time overhaul in your life-and easy tips on how to get started, today.

You Spend a Good Amount of Time Worrying About Your Time

If your time is preoccupied with, well, your time, you might be: endlessly cycling through your to-do list in your head, spending a lot of time arranging and rearranging your schedule, or wishing throughout the day that you had more time.

If you've worried about your schedule or wished you had more time more than three times a day, you need a break from time itself as a stressor in your life.

Try this: Take a mental break. Remove one thing from your schedule for today that is the least important-it might be putting off doing the laundry or postponing a work call. Spend that time instead totally luxuriating in something in the present moment (like eating a macaron or listening to your favorite song) and not thinking about your schedule, or future plans, at all.

Read on for more.

Simple Tips to Reduce Workday Stress

Michele Foley — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 01:16:46 PDT

Sometimes a "case of the Mondays" can follow us well into the work week. Looming deadlines, pressure from the boss, and a hectic day of meetings are enough to frazzle the calmest individual. Before you let stress take control of an otherwise productive workday, follow these tips for stopping stress before it takes full hold.

Eat yourself to calm: While fatty junk foods may seem like the cure to your hectic day, these indulgences will only have you experiencing the crash-and-burn effect of a sugar high. Instead of reaching for things like chips or candy, eat one of these healthy foods proven to fight stress. Good-for-you items like nuts, oranges, spinach, and fish all contain nutrients that will ward off workday pressures. If a sweet treat is the only way you'll be able to survive the day, choose dark chocolate. A recent study shows that eating a small amount of dark chocolate can reduce stress levels. Along these same lines, give yourself a break and eat lunch away from your desk. Getting out of the office may be just what you need to relax.
Schedule a lunchtime workout: An easy way to blow off steam during your workday is to exercise. If the idea of leaving work to hit the gym only causes stress levels to rise, follow these timesaving tips for a midday workout and check out this quick beauty routine for the locker room. Numerous studies have shown that exercise is a sure-fire way to boost endorphins. You'll return to work happier, calmer, and energized.

See the rest of the tips after the break!

Friends and Weight Loss: Use 'Em and Lose It

Jenny Sugar — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 09:57:30 PDT

Losing weight is not easy for so many reasons. Not only does it take commitment and determination, but it can be such a long journey that it's tempting to give up before reaching your goal. If you have a close friend you can lean on, it's likely to make dropping pounds easier and more likely. It should be someone you're comfortable with, someone you can count on to be there when you need them most, and someone you can share your achievements with. Here are some specific ways you can use your buddy on your weight-loss quest:

Call when cravings are at their worst. When you’re having an insatiable urge to hop in your car and head to the nearest bakery, speed dial your friend so they can talk you into eating fruit instead.
Swap healthy recipes, strength training tips, fitness DVDs, health magazines, and running playlists. Boredom can drive you to hop off the healthy wagon, so spice things up with new snack and meal ideas, workouts, and kick-butt tunes courtesy of your fellow fit-minded pal.

For some other ways you can use a friend to help you slim down and get healthier keep reading.