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Power Women Say Failure Isn't a Dirty Word

Emily Co — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 12:00:12 PDT

Failure doesn't have to crush you, it can even make you stronger. It's OK to fail as long as you learn from it, CEO of VMware Diane Greene said last night at a Women 2.0 event. It's a line that I've heard from many powerful women: don't be afraid of failure. In fact, the queen of fantasy, J.K. Rowling, said in a Harvard commencement speech two years ago that "rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." You're only selling yourself short if you play safe your whole life because you're too afraid of making a mistake.

It's refreshing to hear this, because we've all been taught that failure is a dirty word, and we're mostly driven by our fear of doing something wrong. In fact, even science agrees with this - research from MIT says that we learn more from succeeding rather than failing. However, I don't think that's true for every scenario, and I think it's ultimately up to us to reap the benefits and learn from our failures. Sugar readers seemed to agree with this, and 76 percent of them said on a TrèsSugar survey that they have learned more from their mistakes than their wins.

You don't have to be a CEO of a company or a billionaire author to make mistakes; it's something that everyone inevitably experiences in their life. It can be a time when you're stretched at work with too many meetings or are struggling to graduate from school. Or maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by a massive credit card debt. Just take a deep breath and take a page from these power women - pick yourself up and get going, and see these blunders as a learning experience.

Learn From the Game: Mia Hamm

FitSugar — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 17:15:00 PDT

After a long week, I was searching for a little inspiration and I found this gem:

"Failure happens all the time. It happens every day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it." - Mia Hamm

I think Mia Hamm is awesome, she is six months pregnant with twins in this photo and she still has time to kick it around with kids at a Soccer Clinic for Recovering Cancer Patients and Marrow Donor Drive. Go Mia...she delivered twin girls in March and I bet they are adorable.

Source

You Asked: I Am Afraid of Failure

DearSugar — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 06:00:00 PDT

Dear Sugar --

I am a Senior at an art school and will be getting my Bachelor's in Advertising soon. I recently entered an ad campaign for a competition and didn't make it. Everyone says that my ads are great. Truthfully, I am never satisfied with my work and feel that I have no talent. I am not sure what to do now. I've come this far in school and I am not sure if I am really good at it. I really feel that I won't be able to get a job when school's over. I try to believe in myself, but somehow I can't. I really need your advice! Thank you. ~Deterred Dana

To see DEARSUGAR's response,

Dear Deterred Dana --

You can't let one little setback get you down! I bet you won't meet a lot of successful people in this world that have not lost at least one competition in their lives. People who have never lost a contest probably have never entered one. We can learn a lot more from our failures than we can from our successes. Take Michael Jordan, the basketball legend, for example. He was initially cut from his high school basketball team and then went on to become a superstar.

I suggest that you pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back out there. It sounds like you have not started applying for jobs yet, so don't be so hard on yourself. Start searching the online job boards (MediaBistro.com is great for creative jobs), visit your school's career center to find out when companies will be on campus recruiting and send your resume and portfolio to companies you are interested in working for. Before you know it, you will start booking interviews and they will see all you have to offer. This will help you regain your confidence. Think positively, and I wish you good luck!

Shawn Johnson Talks Weight Loss and Learning to Love Her Body

espnW — Fri, 25 May 2012 03:05:26 PDT

We are pumped to share one of our fave stories from espnW here on FitSugar!

By Shawn Johnson

Shawn Johnson is blogging for espnW throughout her training for the Olympics in London this summer. Follow hers other Olympic hopefuls' journeys on espnW.com.

Four years ago, I was standing on an Olympic podium, wearing a gold medal, and still thinking to myself how I could have been better. It had nothing to do with my performance - it was all how I looked. Back then, I always felt like I could have been a few pounds lighter. But the irony is, when I look back at the pictures, I look unhealthy and too thin. It's easy to get into a trap as an elite athlete, because you're made to feel that you're never perfect, that you can always be better. That's how you improve in your sport, but it's also tough because you aren't satisfied with yourself ever - it's second nature not to be. I'd always think, "Just get a little stronger, a little lighter," until it was completely ingrained in my mind.

Shawn Johnson takes us inside training camp

It's easy for people to blame gymnastics for this mentality, but I feel like the sport has improved a lot. The horror stories we heard from generations ago (think Joan Ryan's infamous book Little Girls in Pretty Boxes), you don't hear at all anymore. But I do believe it can improve further and that good nutrition could be a key to all of this, if it were only taught at a young age. Many gymnasts go into the elite level at 13 or so, and a 13-year-old isn't going to go to the library to read some book on nutrition! She needs to be given the right information on how to eat well. Otherwise, it's not until she's out of the sport that she realizes the damage she's done to her body by not eating enough over the past 20 years.

Shawn Johnson in the driver's seat

I see all the success we have as a country where the gymnasts aren't 100 percent healthy, and I imagine how amazing we could be if we were doing it in the healthiest way possible. I don't think it's a failure on anybody's part; the education just isn't there right now, and it's just not thought about in our sport. My parents have told me since I was little, "You're given your body for a reason. It's OK to be different. Being unique is a good thing." But I always struggled to believe it. I'm stocky, muscular and short, and I wanted to be thin and flexible so bad! My mom would say, "You're not made that way, and you're not going to become that, so you have to learn to accept and love the body you're in." Well, some people are born with that appreciation, and some people have to work really hard to get there. Put me in that second camp.

Read on for more on what Shawn Johnson has to say about body confidence and how she feels in her gymnastics leotard.

Lil Links: 10 Dresses That Will Give You Maternity Clothes Envy

Rebecca M Gruber — Thu, 24 May 2012 05:32:53 PDT

Maternity dresses that give you pregnancy envy - BabyCenter Blog
The number one rule you'll learn as a parent - HuffPost Parents
Take a peek at Katherine Heigl's baby Adelaide - Celebrity Baby Scoop
Steal the latest celeb maternity style: tie-dye - Celebrity Baby Blog
The pros and cons of 11 common labor positions - FitPregnancy
What kids can learn from failure - Parenting
Toddler truths to learn from Modern Family - The Bump
9-year-old reviews school lunches and gives them poor marks - Yahoo! Shine
5 reasons pink is a great color for boys - Circle of Moms
American Eagle to close 77kids stores – Child Mode

Obama's Inspiring Advice For Female New Grads

Emily Co — Tue, 15 May 2012 12:45:45 PDT

It's that time of the year again when fresh young grads cheer on commencement speakers and throw their tasseled hats up in the air. President Obama gave a riveting commencement speech on Monday to the women's university, Barnard College. It's a school affiliated with Columbia University, which is the school Obama graduated from in 1983. Here is some of his most inspiring advice for women:

Don't accept any less than you deserve: ". . . don’t accept somebody else's construction of the way things ought to be. It's up to you to right wrongs. It's up to you to point out injustice. It's up to you to hold the system accountable and sometimes upend it entirely. It's up to you to stand up and to be heard, to write and to lobby, to march, to organize, to vote. Don't be content to just sit back and watch."
Persevere: "Nothing worthwhile is easy. No one of achievement has avoided failure - sometimes catastrophic failures. But they keep at it. They learn from mistakes. They don't quit."
Lead by example: "Never underestimate the power of your example . . . This diploma opens up new possibilities, so reach back, convince a young girl to earn one, too. If you earned your degree in areas where we need more women - like computer science or engineering - reach back and persuade another student to study it, too. If you're going into fields where we need more women, like construction or computer engineering, reach back, hire someone new. Be a mentor. Be a role model."

5 Reasons Being a Single Man is Kind of Overrated

The Good Men Project — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:00:47 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Today, Damon Young names five reasons being a single man is overrated.

While most will probably remember 2012 as the "Year Of The YOLO" (and by "most" I mean "like seven people"), it holds special significance for me because it’ll likely be the first year since 2002 where I spent the entire year single. I haven’t completed a full calendar year yet - May will make it seven months since the former Lady Champ and I decided to go our separate ways - but because I seem to enjoy doing random anthropological experiments on myself for absolutely no reason (and because I’m an INTJ and INTJs apparently suck at relationships), I’m confident that I’ll make it to 2013 without having to change my Facebook relationship status again.

Three Little-Known Stressors That Are Killing Men

Anyway, if I could sum up my seven months of singledom in one word, it would most likely be "interesting." I’ve met some "interesting" people, done some "interesting" things, made some "interesting" decisions, and, most importantly, thought some "interesting" thoughts. The most "interesting" of these "interesting" thoughts? Being a single man is kind of overrated.

Now, as I stated on the day where I wrote about orgasms, "overrated" doesn’t mean "bad." In fact, as the careers of Tupac and Derrick Rose continue to prove, something can be very, very good - even great - and still be overrated. I’ve enjoyed being single, and will likely continue to enjoy it. But, while it seems like many assume that being a single man (a single Black man, at that) is nothing but an utopic stream of easy popsicles and cold pancakes, there are a few downsides.

It can be very lonely. As a person who wanted to be single, is a natural introvert, and generally enjoys doing things by himself, I’m surprised by how, for lack of a better term, "noticeable" the solitude and loneliness of singledom can be. Even when seeing multiple people and/or having tons of friends, being single means that you are . . . single, by yourself, and there may be times when you want to have someone around but there will be no one that you want to be around readily available to be around.

Then, to add insult to injury, if you’re an angsty motherf*cker like me, you’ll start thinking things like "Wait. I’m a single man. A single Black man. My dad named me after Dolemite. Shaka Zulu is my second cousin. People who’ve never even met me call me "Champ" for chrissakes. Why the f*ck do I feel lonely right now?" which’ll make it even worse.

You have to wear condoms. And, wearing condoms sucks. If you’re one of the 137 people left on Earth who always has protected sex - even if in a long-term, monogamous relationship - just skip this section and move on to #3. Also, I’ve left a plate of gotdamn sugar cookies at the end of this post as a reward for your duty. Please eat them with a gotdamn smile.

If you’re not one of these people, you should be able to relate to how frustrating it’s been to go from condom-less sex to having to worry about having gotdamn condoms all the damn time. And, even if you’re not actively having sex, "Do I have condoms?" and "Since I don’t have condoms, is there somewhere close where I can buy them?" always has to be on your mind.

Also, from a logistical perspective, they’re a hassle to put on, they smell like a pack of slutty balloons, and "sex with condoms" will always be the Mike Conley of coitus. There is always the alternative - just don’t wear condoms while single, either - but I think one Cromartie per generation is enough.

(Btw, is it just me, or has the price of condoms spiked dramatically in the past four years? I was last single in 2008, and I don’t remember a box of condoms costing as much as it does to fill a gas tank. Does this qualify as a "first world problem?" If a Black blogger bitches about condoms in the woods, would Kanye’s missing draws make a sound?) As much as condoms suck, they don’t suck as much as . . .

Having to participate in the dating game. In a paradox so annoying that I almost didn’t mention it today because I plan on spending an entire day on this sole topic soon, I love meeting new, interesting women but I hate the process that usually goes along with meeting new, interesting women. I understand (and appreciate) the purpose of the process, but knowing why it’s necessary doesn’t mean that you have to enjoy it.

The superficial romantic connections synonymous with singledom gets old. Ironically, the best thing about being a single man - possessing the ability to have myriad short, commitment-free relationships AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!!! - ends up being one of the worst after enough time has passed. This actually hasn’t happened to me yet. I guess I’m still in the single honeymoon phrase. But, I’m certain it will, and the thought of this happening is already depressing me. Actually, this entire list is getting depressing. ***Making note to self to make sure tomorrow’s post is about the playoffs or strippers or something***

You start to realize some, um, "unpositive" things about yourself. I’ve been in three long-term - "long term" = "monogamous relationship lasting at least a year" - relationships as an adult. Each of these relationships failed, and my wanting to be single was the main catalyst behind each of these failures. Now, because I’ve always been a guy who did all the "right on paper" relationship things - I’ve never cheated, never physically or verbally abused any girlfriends, always followed the chivalry handbooks, etc - I’ve always assumed that I’m good at being a partner. But, these last few months have made me realize that I have some real deficiencies in the relationship department - personality quirks that have subtly sabotaged each relationship I’ve been in.

I wouldn’t quite call myself a trojan horse - the sabotage isn’t intentional (at least it’s not consciously intentional) - but I’m just not very good at this relationship thing right now, and I intend to spend the rest of 2012 trying to figure out why.
That’s it for me today. Fellas - single or coupled up - how do you feel about the concept of singledom? Is it all the beer commercials make it out to be, or do you agree that it may be slightly overrated? Also, ladies, are the "single man problems" expressed today at all similar to any "single woman problems?"

The Final Say in the Light Weights vs. Heavy Weights Debate

Shape — Thu, 10 May 2012 10:47:20 PDT

We are pumped to share one of our fave stories from Shape here on FitSugar.

You've always heard that when it comes to building muscle mass, heavy weights are preferred over lighter weights. But a new study published in the Journal of Applied Physiology has found that isn't always the case. In fact, you can build just as much muscle by lifting lighter weights. If you do it right...

10 Health and Fitness Myths You Still Believe

The key is working the muscle to total failure or exhaustion, says Michele S. Olson, professor of exercise science at the Human Performance Laboratory of Auburn University Montgomery and the star of the workout DVD Perfect Legs, Glutes and Abs.

8 Reasons Why You Should Lift Heavier Weights

"Failure, in this sense, is a success," Olson says. "If you work your muscles, on each set, until you cannot execute another repetition with appropriate form, the heaviness of the weight becomes less important."

Find out exactly what a "light" weight is after the break!

Let's Dish: What Was Your Biggest Recipe Failure?

Susannah Chen — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 13:02:44 PST

A recent article on The Kitchn titled 5 Reasons Why a Recipe Might Fail left me thinking about some of my biggest disappointments in the kitchen. One of them was many years ago when I was at a friend's house, and we decided to go a bit overboard on the baking substitutions, using applesauce instead of butter, Splenda in lieu of sugar, and baking powder rather than baking soda.

Needless to say, the end result above looked nothing like we'd anticipated. Top takeaway: be sure to know which replacements are tried and true, and don't sub in too many things at the same time! Hopefully I'm not the only one who's ever left the kitchen feeling a bit defeated. What's been your biggest recipe fail?

Grey's Anatomy Rundown, "Let the Bad Times Roll"

Becky Kirsch — Fri, 04 May 2012 07:11:07 PDT

The boards may have happened on last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy, but this week we get to go inside each of the testing rooms to see what went down. Everyone essentially flips out in their own way: Meredith can't stop puking, Karev misses his first session, April can't stop sweating profusely, and Jackson is distracted by his mother's little tryst with Webber. Cristina's the only one who keeps her cool, but her overconfidence threatens to be her demise. As we learn in the first few minutes of the episode, one of the doctors doesn't pass.

Back in Seattle, Arizona has an upsetting visit from one of her childhood friends, and there's still tension between Teddy and Owen. However, the real excitement comes from a pivotal moment between Lexie and Mark that we've been waiting forever for. Let's break down all the biggest moments when you

In Meredith's room, it's all she can do not to stop throwing up long enough to answer the administrator's questions. She gets an extra boost from a phone call to Derek during one of the test breaks, as he cryptically tells her that the test is a "mirror." The administrators try to get Meredith to abandon ship, but she forges on through - and passes! As if there was any doubt that the Torres method would fail her.
After a hectic cab ride over the Golden Gate Bridge, Karev busts through the doors of his test exam. The only problem is that he's missed his first session, which means there's no room for failure on the second two. The proctors push him to a breaking point about being late, and he ultimately storms out of the room, and in true Karev style, slams his bag to the floor. His outburst doesn't cost him the test though, and he passes.
Cristina's exam consists of her being interrogated by Mr. Feeny, who isn't a fan of her confidence. I was convinced that she would be the one to fail the exam, since it would be an interesting twist on how Cristina's always excelled over the years. I was proved wrong, though: she passes and gets to celebrate with the rest of the crew in the clear.
Jackson's got a double whammy of distractions, since he took April's virginity and caught his mother and Webber in the same hotel room. His mommy issues are the major problem at first; he confronts his mother with some harsh words about her behavior, and later gets irritated when he can hear her administrating a test in the next room. He manages to hold it together well enough though, and has reason to make his mother proud when he learns that he passed.
That leaves April as the last woman standing. Not only does she get all sweaty during her test, but she can't stop hyperventilating and babbling on end. Things get a bit scandalous for her though: she confronts Jackson about their night together, ranting again about her vow to Jesus. But when she starts going over the events of the night before, she and Jackson get hot and bothered and do it right there in the bathroom. The sexual encounter seems to calm both of them down, but April tells the administrators about her sexual awakening and troubled relationship with Jesus instead of answering their questions. Apparently the examiners aren't impressed with her epiphany, and she ultimately fails. I'm hoping this doesn't mean April will be written off the show; though she's a bit annoying, I'm digging her relationship with Jackson.
My favorite moment of the episode is Lexie's adorable love confession to Mark, but let's back up for a second. Over breakfast, Julia casually mentions to Mark that she thinks they should have a kid - and even hints that they don't have much time to mull it over. You'd think Mark would be totally freaked out, but he actually thinks it's a genius idea, and even tells Derek about it. Derek has vacillated when it comes to meddling in Lexie and Mark's relationship, but he goes into big brother mode and tells Lexie straight up what's going on. Lexie panics, but eventually musters the courage to confront Mark and blurt out everything she's been feeling all at once. The moment ends in a Grey's signature standoff when Julia interrupts the situation and Mark is left to choose between them. This has to be a no-brainer, though: as far as I'm concerned, Julia's already out of the picture.

With only two episodes left, we're counting down to what I'm hoping will be another epic season finale. What'd you think of this week's episode?