FitSugar

Has a Workout Ever Moved You to Tears?

FitSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:30:00 PST

Exercise can do more than just benefit the body; it can also offer an emotional release as well as provide much-needed self time. A contestant on The Biggest Loser cries every time she sprints on the treadmill. I have had Pilates clients ball their eyes out as they rediscover their long lost deep abs post C-Section, or out of frustration over their pain. I'd be lying if I said I have never been moved to tears in a workout; some of the tears have been for the joy of movement and some have provided a much-needed release.

I am curious: has this ever happened to you?

Source

Hysteria Director Tanya Wexler Talks Vibrators, Faking It, and Duck Sex

Tara Block — Fri, 25 May 2012 04:00:15 PDT

Don't be shy . . . It's time to talk sex toys! And Hysteria director Tanya Wexler is writing us a prescription for pleasure. Tanya's film - what she calls "the vibrator movie you can bring your mom to" - is in limited release and stars Hugh Dancy, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Rupert Everett. When working on a romantic comedy that centers around the invention of the vibrator, you end up with some entertaining and embarrassing situations along the way, and lucky for us, Tanya spilled all the hilariously dirty details. From teaming up with the film's partner Jimmyjane for a drive-by vibrator drop-off to a certain female Oscar-winner to trying unsuccessfully to get ducks to shag on command, Tanya was bursting with great stories from working on this very unconventional film. And while Tanya isn't ashamed to discuss the sexy subject matter of her latest film with us, the mother of four and her partner of 21 years did have a tricky challenge telling her preteen kids what her movie was about. (She eventually gave them the script and let them figure it out themselves!) Check out our interview with the fun-loving director now, and we dare you not to have a girl crush on her by the end!

TrèsSugar: What were some of the challenges to getting a movie made about vibrators?
Tanya Wexler: Getting the script right was tricky because if you just make a movie about the invention of the vibrator, it's actually a really short movie: you go "bzz" and it's done. And we had a kind of light romantic comedy. I say I made the vibrator movie you can bring your mom to. But some people wanted it to be raunchy or some people wanted it to be more serious and about feminism. People project a lot onto this movie of what they want, because there isn't a lot out there about vibrators and women's pleasure, and we still don't really deal with that topic very well, or we're overly antsy around it. And as a result, people have a lot of ideas of what the movie could and should be, and you can't please everyone. [laughs]

TS: Ha, good one.
TW: It's nonstop!

TS: Do you find sex toys inherently funny or something to be seriously celebrated?
TW: Yes!

TS: Both?
TW: Yes! Yes. I think they make me laugh, and I think that the inner kind of Beavis and Butt-head in all of us goes "[laugh]." You know, that inner 13-year-old, like, "Hahaha vibrator . . . " and yet they're awesome and fun.

TS: What shocked you the most when researching the movie?
TW: That ducks are the rapists of the bird world, and you'll see when you see the movie, because there's a little bit of questionable duck behavior - or awesome duck behavior - in the movie. It's totally a sidebar, but you cannot make ducks shag on command. I'm just saying.

TS: What about the whole history of hysteria being a medical condition?
TW: When I first heard the idea, I was like, "What do you mean it was invented in Victorian times?" I knew about hysteria, but the idea that the treatment was manual [British accent] massage deparaxism - which is what they called it - and, of course, the denial. The most shocking thing is the denial, that they didn't think it was sexual.

TS: Do you think they were really in denial?
TW: No, I don't think that some people were. My college roommate was with her high school boyfriend for two years and she had never had an orgasm. I think there's all kinds of denial, especially with women's sexuality. So the fact that there are young women today who haven't had an orgasm, whether self-induced - which is insane - or with a partner, then why wouldn't we think back then that women wouldn't know what orgasms were?

They would get a massage, and the doctor's saying, "Without a penis, this isn't sex, because sex is about procreation," so what is this? The best physical therapy you've ever had. So once you don't think of it as something other than what the doctor's supposed to do to cure your uncontrollable crying or uncontrollable laughter or whatever, then it's just an awesome muscle spasm. If you don't think women have their own inherent sexuality, then you're not thinking about it like that.

Keep reading for Tanya's thoughts on Fifty Shades and more!

Mad Men's 5 Maddest Moments: "Dark Shadows"

Becky Kirsch — Mon, 14 May 2012 06:44:57 PDT

It feels like just yesterday it was summertime in Mad Men world, but alas, we've already arrived at Thanksgiving. It's not exactly a celebratory episode: Betty's cranky about both her new diet and Don's new wife; Pete's still struggling to figure out his life; and Don and Ginsberg have a showdown at work.

Roger, on the other hand, is still using his money to get everything he wants, which includes using Jane for some help landing a new client and paying off Ginsberg. And Ginsberg's success is Peggy's lack thereof; with him cleaning up, she has less and less to show for her work. Ready to break down the big moments? Just

Carry that weight: Betty's already looking noticeably thinner than the fat suit episode, and it's because she's joined Weight Watchers. Her weekly meetings seem to be helping with her portion control, but despite measuring her sad little grapefruit dinners on the scale each night, she still can't resist sucking down a little whipped cream every now and then. As much as Betty irritates me, my heart went out to her at the end of the episode when she eats her tiny Thanksgiving dinner and seriously savors her one allotted bite of stuffing.
Green-eyed monster: While Betty's picking up the kids, she gets an eyeful of Don's swanky new apartment - and his new wife. Clearly shaken up by the incident, she retaliates by spilling the beans about Anna to Sally while Sally is in the midst of making a family tree. Betty easily manipulates Sally into thinking that Megan is a liar, but the joke's on Betty in the end. After a squabble, Don explains the Anna situation to sassy Sally and Sally reports back to her mother without even mentioning the argument. Betty proceeds to freak out. I've got to hand it to Megan for convincing Don not to call Betty in a rage; not only is Megan spot-on about giving Betty what she wants, but she also diffuses the argument pretty quickly.
Fantasy land: Pete is particularly smug because he's been chatting with a reporter from the New York Times Magazine who's doing a piece about ad agencies. Once he's done bragging about his connection with Roger and Don, he assures them that he'll be the only one contacted for the interview. Pete then proceeds to have gross sexual fantasies about how the article will help him win Beth back, but - surprise - he doesn't even make it into the article! He calls Don enraged, but it's clear that Pete's really just mad at the world since, once again, things are not going his way.
Wine time: Bert asks Roger to court a potential new client, and since it's Manischewitz wine, he suggests that Roger's Jewish wife could be of service. Though Bert is a bit behind on his interoffice gossip, Roger still takes the client and asks Jane for help. In return, she asks for a small favor, and by that I mean a brand-new apartment. Roger agrees, and then proceeds to um, christen the new apartment with Jane after dinner. She's angry that he's tainted her new place, but there's a much bigger concern at play here than Jane's whining: when is all the money that Roger's been throwing around going to catch up with him?
Still got it: While Don's putting in a little overtime at the office, he comes across Ginsberg's folder of sketches, and is inspired to get back to basics. His idea is a little dark (you know, because it's based in hell and all), and he puts it head to head against Ginsberg's childlike pitch for the same product, SnoBall. The rest of the team likes both ideas, and agrees that Ginsberg should be the front-runner. Too bad Don conveniently leaves Ginsberg's pitch in the taxi, and sells his snowball's chance in hell idea to the company. Ginsberg obviously isn't in a celebratory mood, but when he confronts Don about what happened, Don just shuts him down. Now that both Don and Peggy feel threatened by Ginsberg, might we see them teaming up against him?

There's also more death omens in this week's episode, including Megan teaching Sally how to fake cry by focusing on something sad, and of course, the mysterious toxic smog that invades Thanksgiving. How'd you feel about the episode overall?

Photo courtesy of AMC

Jessica Alba's Fit Philosophy

Leta Shy — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:21:18 PDT

Happy birthday, Jessica Alba! The erstwhile action star and devoted mom of two turns 31 on Saturday, and to celebrate we are taking a look at how Jessica's stayed fit while enjoying life throughout the years.

Bootcamp style: It's all about high intensity for Jessica. She enlists the help of Barry's Bootcamp, a favorite with starlets in LA, to get fast results. Each workout contains high-intensity cardio intervals and strength training for an all-in-one session that saves time.

Reluctant workout: Even though she works hard in the gym (which isn't always a good thing: to get ready for a photo shoot soon after having her first child, she exercised so hard she said she cried!), she's no fitness fanatic. "I'm not a big workout person," she told Self. "Every single day, I tell my girlfriends we're starting a regimen. And then it's, like, 'Want to get dinner? Want a glass of wine?'" Jessica does, however, know how to keep workouts fun; she alternates between the gym, her treadmill at home, swimming, and yoga to keep from becoming bored.

Diet-free zone: Jessica doesn't like to diet, so instead she eats clean all the time. “Diets are for the birds. I think you have to eat in a way that makes you feel your best. I include a lot of vegetables and lean protein and fruit and grains in my diet," she told Self.

The importance of sleep: Running a company, being a mom, and starring in films can jam-pack anyone's schedule, so Jessica gets her workouts out of the way early in the morning. Sometimes, however, she knows it's healthier to catch up on sleep than continue to tire out her body. "Slacked off this am on the work out but the sleep was the best I've had in three weeks. Tomorrow its ON . . . " she once tweeted. Listening to your body is the best way to tell if you are skipping a workout because of a lame excuse or because you actually need to rest.

Fifty Shades of Grey, Fight Club, and the Complications of Male Dominance

The Good Men Project — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:00:55 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Clarisse Thorn sees nothing new in eroticized images of male dominance and violence, but she sees plenty that's thought-provoking.

Much is being made of the highly successful S&M erotica novel 50 Shades of Grey. People are blaming feminism for making women into submissives, blaming feminism for preventing women from being submissives, blaming women for having sexual desires at all, and a whole lot of other boring and typical stuff that comes up in any conversation about women and S&M. News flash: it’s not the feminist revolution that is "causing" women to have fantasies of submission. S&M fantasies have been around since the beginning of time. (And the 1950s S&M-sensation book, The Story of O, was much better written than 50 Shades of Grey.)

Top 10 Reasons to Use Condoms

As an S&M writer, I hear a lot of allegations about how "all" (or "almost all") women are sexually submissive and how this must Mean Something. This is echoed in the coverage of 50 Shades of Grey, in which everyone is demanding to know What It All Means About Women. I wrote a piece a while back called Inherent Female Submission: The Wrong Question, in which I took on a lot of this stuff. But there’s another submerged question here - about men. There’s plenty of talk and stereotypes about how men are inherently violent, or more aggressive than women, or "the dominant sex."

Keep reading below.

How to Keep Your Friend From Becoming a Bridezilla

Laura Marie Given — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 04:00:00 PDT

Planning a wedding can turn even the calmest of friends into an anxious, worked up wreck, but offering a bit of support to your bride-to-be pal can keep her from venturing into bridezilla territory. Whether she's outright unpleasant or just internalizing the stress, there are a few easy ways to help her stay sane. Have a pal who's struggling through the planning process? Follow these tips to keep your friend - and everyone around her - more at ease:

Lend an understanding ear. Your friend may just need to vent a bit, and although the color of the napkin rings may seem unimportant to you, it's the buildup of all those little details that's likely to put her over the edge. Plus, even if she's talking about the napkin rings, chances are it's not actually about the napkin rings, so be a patient listener and help her through whatever's really bothering her.
Keep her company. If she feels like she's planning her wedding alone, your friend might get sad or frustrated. Offer to take on a small project, like finding the perfect candle votives. Is she not the delegating type? In that case, volunteer to accompany her on some of the errands. Your presence may be enough to calm her down.

Read on for more tips to keep her calm.

Paralympian April Holmes Making a Name as a Winner

espnW — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 11:35:45 PDT

We are pumped to share one of our fave stories from espnW here on FitSugar!

By Adena Andrews

April Holmes may have lost part of her leg, but the Paralympics star refuses to be seen as handicapped. She's on a quest to finish what she started in 2008 and come home with two medals in London. Follow more journeys to London on espnW.com.

April Holmes was in first place during the 200-meter final at the 2008 Paralympics in Beijing when the spike on her prosthetic left leg got caught on the track, causing her to fall to the ground. Another competitor stepped on Holmes' face with a track spike. Holmes also caused Marie-Amelie le Fur of France to fall. Despite a right eye filled with blood and a bruised leg, Holmes hobbled to the finish line to complete the race. "I have this thing about finishing whatever you start, so despite my condition I was going to cross the finish line," she wrote in her blog.

Amanda McGrory Rules Wheelchair Race Scene

Five days later, despite being sore and tired, Holmes raced in the 100-meter final. Her leg and hips hurt so much she could barely warm up. She even told her competitors they were going to win the race. "I could barely lift my leg, but I never let [my family] know," Holmes said. "They would be too concerned and I didn't need the pity party. Instead, I needed energy and God." As Holmes likes to say it was "by the grace of God," that she crossed the finish line to win gold in the 100 in 13.72 seconds. That's three seconds slower than the able-body Olympic record held by Florence Griffith-Joyner. Holmes would later discover she did it all with a labral tear in her left hip.

Failure Not an Option For Texas' Beverly Kearney

Holmes was elated with her first gold, but on the flight home she couldn't help but think she should have two medals around her neck. That's why she began training two months later for the 2012 Games. Her goal is to claim the 200 medal that eluded her in Beijing.

Before the Paralympics - where she became the fastest amputee in her class, holding world records in the 100, 200 and 400 - Holmes was an All-American in the 400 and 4x400 relay at Norfolk State. After graduation she started working and gave up competitive athletics.

Read on for how April ended up competing in the Paralympics.

7 Secrets to Dining Out With Kids

Rebecca M Gruber — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 08:56:33 PDT

Before kids, you may have been the restaurant patron that slyly gave the stink eye to the neighboring table full of rowdy kids and parents who seemed oblivious to their lil one's behavior. But now that you're the one looking to dine somewhere that doesn't require mama to serve or clear the food, how do you avoid becoming "that family"?

While it starts with discipline and manners at home, there are some tricks that experienced mamas have up their sleeves:

Preview the Menu: These days, most restaurants have their menus online. Before heading to the restaurant, preview the menu and have a few options picked out for both you and the kids. This will eliminate any indecision that could delay ordering once the waitstaff arrive at your table.
Have an Ordering Strategy: For some families, ordering the kids' food as soon they sit down works - it means the lil ones can start eating while the parents review the menu (see above) or have their appetizers. We've found this to backfire in our family, as our tots then finish their meals before we ever start and let's just say they don't enjoy patiently waiting for us to finish up! For us, ordering an appetizer the whole family can enjoy as soon as we sit down is the way to go! Know what works for your family and stick to it!
Know Your Exit Strategy: If your lil one just won't stay in her chair, or if whining and crying start up, know which parent will be taking her outside until she calms down. Nothing's worse than two parents arguing about who will take their unruly tot out for a spell.

Keep reading for the rest of the tips!

Women Only? Not Even Close

The Good Men Project — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 11:36:54 PST

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project.

There's been some talk over, what, the last couple months, regarding ladies and their access to birth control. Or basic health care. Or abortions. Or breast exams. Really, pick any of them. Now, while I could (quite easily) get going regarding Komen's debacle with Planned Parenthood or the #issacircus of a hearing that ruined my day, that's not what I'd really like to discuss with Good Men today.

Objectifying Ryan Gosling

Of course, some of you might tell me that you don't want to hear my rants because, hey, those be lady problems and why would you rant to men about them (*please note* I did not say all of you – just… some).

And that, now that you mention it, is exactly my point.

All of these controversies, from Komen to birth control, have been overwhelmingly framed in this way: religious/moral freedom vs. women's rights. Or something along those lines. Here, the details aren't what's important –the point is the vs. women part.

X, Y, Z vs. women. Period. Just us ladies, out there all on our own. Wantin' things like breast exams and the pills. It's a woman's-issues thing, right?

Ahem. Wrong.

I am so done with these arguments being framed this way. These are not women's-only issues and rights. These are far far more than that.

Why? Well, since you asked, let me try to explain.

First, let's just pretend we're talking about birth control – namely, birth control pills, or maybe even morning after pills. For sake of simplicity, let's also narrow that into birth control only used for avoiding pregnancy – the idea that ladies be only wanting the birth control so they can be having the sex without the procreating. Forget all other arguments. For now.

I find it rather interesting that no one seems to bring up with whom all those ladies be having all the sex without the babies with. Well. Lesbians don't really worry about getting preggers all that much. So that leave . . . menfolk, or ladies born as men. And, ya know, I would hazard a guess that a great majority of that sex involving penises would be within committed, monogamous relationships. I would also hazard a guess that, in those committed, monogamous relationships, part of the reason the lady be on the pill is because she is not using condoms with her partner. Why? Because she probably trusts him and they no longer have need to worry about STIs, being in a committed, monogamous relationship. And a lot of people don't really like the whole condom thing, and will avoid when it becomes safe to do so.

Some of those relationships are probably marriages, where both would like to avoid having a kid/having more kids. Both husband and wife are being responsible to what they want and the children they can provide for.

Sure, some of the ladies who be on the pill are probably not in committed, monogamous relationships. Maybe a few of them throw caution to the wind every night. Or something. But, you know, if pregnancy is on the line, they're still engaging le sexy times with a dude. A dude who probably as into getting someone pregnant as his ladyfriend is.

Am I getting my point across? All these "X, Y, Z vs. ladies rights" conversations keep kind of saying that it's only the ladies having sex without the babiez. All by themselves. When, um, hello. Hi there. Birds and bees calling.

Yes, the women are the ones who have to take a pill as a very consistent method of engaging le sexy times without le bébéz. Men don't have that option (yet). But that doesn't mean these aren't men's issues. If you want to be having sex without procreation, this is how you do that – men and women. Both of us. Together. Doing this deed. Together. Does it matter who is swallowing (ahem) the pill?

Keep reading below.

How to Avoid New Mom Comparisons

BabyCenter — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:00:57 PST

We're excited to share this post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we will be bringing you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Evonne Lack about avoiding the dangerous trap of competitive parenting.

The comparison game is one new moms know well. Even when we try to avoid the "does your baby do this yet?" questions, it's pretty impossible not to notice when, say, a friend's 5-week-old is smiling and yours isn't. As mom Heather Cianciolo says, "Doesn't every mother compare her kids?"

Blame it on our survival instincts, says Kathy Seal, coauthor of Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids: Dealing With Competition While Raising a Successful Child.

"We're hardwired to push our kids to compete. After all, our ancestors' children had to be strong enough to get that last piece of meat or outrun that dangerous animal," Seal says. "It's also natural to want our kids to acquire skills, so we compare for reassurance."

Normal as it is, comparing can be a recipe for stress. It can also prevent us from fully appreciating what our kids are accomplishing. Here are some common comparison traps - and how to sidestep them.

Related: Developmental Milestones

Milestone & Developmental Comparisons
Babies vary widely when it comes to hitting milestones like sitting up, crawling, and walking, which makes this comparison trap a particularly easy one to fall into.

"I remember sitting in music class, watching a 10-month-old demonstrate physical milestones that my 19-month-old was just getting around to. It was hard," says Cianciolo.

As moms, we're encouraged to watch for any development problems or delays and to get help right away with anything we notice. So it's no wonder we're constantly wondering what's normal and what's not.

Sidestep the trap: Research shows that as long as your child is reaching milestones within the normal range, how quickly he reaches them has no bearing on his later skills.

So if your 18-month-old says only one or two words compared to your same-age nephew's dozen, it doesn't mean your child won't eventually gab your ears off.

"Milestone development has very little to do with a child's future potential, so I encourage parents not to worry if their children are late bloomers or seem to be at the outer limits of normal," says Darshak Sanghavi, a pediatrician who's also an assistant professor at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and author of A Map of the Child: A Pediatrician's Tour of the Body. "It's tempting to think that what a child does when he's young is going to control his destiny, but everyday experiences don't bear this out. We can't determine a child's destiny based on what month they started walking," Sanghavi says. Enjoying your child's current skills and tricks can help ground you in the present and prevent you from fretting about the future.

"It's hard to hear my 15-month-old niece saying more than my 2-year-old daughter. But it helps to focus on the special things my daughter does - like when we get ready to read, she gets the blanket and pillow and sets it all up, which really makes my heart melt," says Kim Lybrand.

Finally, remind yourself that while we can certainly help our children learn new things, we can't force them to reach milestones before they're ready. When we attribute our kids' development to our superior parenting skills, it can come back to bite us.

"When others noticed how well my son got around, I felt like we must have done something great to facilitate his excellent gross motor skills," remembers Jennifer Parker. "But then I'd hear other children speak so clearly, while my son wasn't yet talking at all, and I'd feel like such a bad mom."

More on no-competition motherhood after the break.