martha beck

It seems as if most of us strive for a happier life. We try to seek out the perfect job, partner, and friends to gain a sense of joy and fulfillment in our lives. But actually, happiness isn't a complex equation; there's only one rule you need to know about being happy, says life coach Martha Beck in an interview:

"Notice what makes you really happy and what doesn't. You would be amazed to know how blind we go to our own joy or discomfort as we learn to follow cultural norms. Go back to your inner guidance. Then, move toward things that make you feel good, and away from things that make you feel bad (really, it's not rocket science). Do this whether you're choosing a snack or making a lifelong vow."

A lack of confidence can hold you back in many ways. It may cause a self-defeatist attitude that prevents you from reaching your full potential. I talked to life coach Martha Beck, a speaker at the O You! event in Los Angeles this Saturday, who had some wise words of advice for those who don't feel good about themselves. Here's how you can drop your insecurities:

• Challenge yourself. "The only way to become confident is to do things that frighten you," Beck says. "When I was 14 years old, I started doing one constructive thing that feels scary every day. I still hold myself to that. It's the only reason I have any confidence at all."
• Acknowledge it. "It's not unhealthy to be insecure as long as you don't lie about it. Insecurity is natural. Admitting it is courageous. Being honest about insecurity allows security to develop."