exercise video

Call me a crazy (or clever) drunk, but couldn't this mode of "exercise" be achieved on a simple barstool? My unsolicited advice: Forget buying the overpriced lawn chair advertised below and stick to the pubs instead. You can sit on a stool for free and a cold, frothy means of hydration will be readily available in the mug right in front of you. Voila! I totally missed my calling as a life coach.

Add a little embarrassment and agitation to the physical demands of your regular exercise routine and you've got "Fitness Made Difficult"-- a spoof of the Fitness Made Simple home workout videos. Admittedly, I don't know much about this particular regimen, but I do know that prolonged exposure to John Basedow's topless torso and greasy abs would be enough to make my stomach queasy and any hope of exercising impossible. Put a shirt on, will ya?

If the Saved By The Bell clique didn't bring you enough unsightly 80's fitness fashion- don't sweat it. No, really- don't sweat it...cuz Drew "Hair Up To There" Barrymore has got your fix in this Body Fuzion "Low Impact" workout video. After all, the only thing high impact about this video are those tiger print leggings she's sporting. Grrr.

So while the other three were away on a condom run, this granny was getting her jazzercise on to get in shape for...sex? What the...what? I'm beginning to figure out what gives these girls that extra special golden glow. TMI, girls, TMI!

You'd think that "How much is this?" or "Which way to McDonald's?" would be useful phrases for the ESL student. But according to the folks who made this video, you'd be wrong. You'll fare better in America with "Take anything you want!" and "Spare me my life!" This video must be seen to be believed. I mean, would you believe me if I said it included a robber with what looks like a bra on his head and Japanese women dancing in spandex aerobics gear? I didn't think so.