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Is It OK to Say Something About a Pal's Unhealthy Eating?

February 13, 2008

The other day I was out to lunch with my girlfriend who has been blabbing to me for the past few months about how she is finally getting healthy. I've been her number one supporter so I was thrown off when she ordered a very unhealthy meal at lunch — I just couldn't help myself from saying something to her when she chugged her second refill of Coke. Unfortunately, she seemed peeved. So what is your opinion . . .

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77 Comments

Beachwalker 5 years 12 weeks

Depends on your relationship. Sounds like she is on the diet loop, be good, be 'bad', be good......You might want to talk about how sometimes it's like that for you.....and then look to see if she is open to say something more...If not drop it... and let it work itself out. It is her choice.

Beachwalker 5 years 12 weeks

Depends on your relationship. Sounds like she is on the diet loop, be good, be 'bad', be good...... You might want to talk about how sometimes it's like that for you.....and then look to see if she is open to say something more...If not drop it... and let it work itself out. It is her choice.

Mmmarshmallow 5 years 13 weeks

I would say no, unless she had specifically said to you "Stop me from getting a second refill of coke."She's her own person, and is entitled to have an unhealthy, tasty meal every now and then - and should be free to do so without being judged and picked at.She probably felt like she deserved a bit of a break - which is much more realistic and reasonable than expecting to be 'on your best behaviour' 24-7 - and Fit, I can understand why she was peeved. I would've been!

Mmmarshmallow 5 years 13 weeks

I would say no, unless she had specifically said to you "Stop me from getting a second refill of coke." She's her own person, and is entitled to have an unhealthy, tasty meal every now and then - and should be free to do so without being judged and picked at. She probably felt like she deserved a bit of a break - which is much more realistic and reasonable than expecting to be 'on your best behaviour' 24-7 - and Fit, I can understand why she was peeved. I would've been!

starkiss23 5 years 14 weeks

I think it definitely depends on the situation. If she asked your opinion, or if you felt that she was doing something dangerous, then yes. But I think it's kind of overboard for you to say something to her about having an extra coke. If you make her too self-conscious, it could not only damage your friendship, but her self-esteem. There are a lot of non-critical ways for you to be a positive and healthy influence.And if her habits are irritating you, then avoid eating with her!

starkiss23 5 years 14 weeks

I think it definitely depends on the situation. If she asked your opinion, or if you felt that she was doing something dangerous, then yes. But I think it's kind of overboard for you to say something to her about having an extra coke. If you make her too self-conscious, it could not only damage your friendship, but her self-esteem. There are a lot of non-critical ways for you to be a positive and healthy influence. And if her habits are irritating you, then avoid eating with her!

julieulie 5 years 14 weeks

Unless you knew the exact situation and ate every meal with her, it was out of line. I have been eating healthier and healthier over the past year, but we all have bad days or cheat days or days when we just need comfort food. If I've been very healthy 30 days of the past month and on day 31 I have a shitty day for whatever personal reason and if I want to splurge and get a coke and have a piece of pie for dessert, I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I have enough things in my life to make me feel guilty, and I know that I've been doing really well with eating, and one piece of pie is not going to make me fall off the wagon. If you eat every meal with her and notice a trend, then it is one thing, but you can't see her make a bad choice at one point in time and scold her for it. Doesn't FitSugar often tote that it's okay to make a bad decision once in a while as long as it only happens rarely?

susanec 5 years 14 weeks

For the people who say that they always say something and no one gets offended, or hurt - that people just change the subject or leave, that's people being hurt and offended and not knowing how to react or not wanting to deal with you.

suzanne 5 years 14 weeks

No - really! I eat very healthy 90% of the time, but when I go out to eat, then that's my time to enjoy whatever I darn well please. I'd be mortified if anyone pointed out my food choices to me. This nutritional pattern, though not perfect, helps keep me on track - so trust me to know what I'm doing without having to explain or defend it to anyone.

d9rlcb 5 years 14 weeks

if they ask why they are have trouble I am going to tell them the truth, also if they mention how hard they are trying to lose weight but still pigging out I might try to mention it to them casually if they are serious about it. I think sometimes people just overlook some of their eating as long as you are doing it tactfully and with love it's okay IMO.

meko01 5 years 14 weeks

If I am really close to someone I may ask if they are just having a bad day or what is going on. But if it is someone I am not super close with then no way. It would totally depend on the person.

Nemesisb4 5 years 14 weeks

When my boyfriend suggests something healthier I can't help but come back with the fact that I'm working out a lot more then he is and so far my diet and fitness seem to be working.

jatie 5 years 14 weeks

how dare you? eating is fraught enough.

Advah 5 years 14 weeks

No. I have no problem with my friends eating 'unhealthy' things, because it's their problem not mine. Also having fries, or a cookie in the afternoon doesn't mean you're unealthy, but rather that you have a healty relation to food.I agree with Irgoldman, I hate it when people comment when I order a salad or no dessert, and feel like I have to justify myself; I usually say I can't have chicken or dairy hence the no dessert or only fruit option, but then they comment on 'oooh I should try that' which drives me insane (not having cheese is a nightmare, not a dieting option I picked!!).And to honest, my friends are probably healthier than me in that they exercise way more than I do. Anyway, I enjoy food and don't want to be stressed out by people who decided to count calories in everything. Good for them, but please don't ruin my meal. :)

Advah 5 years 14 weeks

No. I have no problem with my friends eating 'unhealthy' things, because it's their problem not mine. Also having fries, or a cookie in the afternoon doesn't mean you're unealthy, but rather that you have a healty relation to food. I agree with Irgoldman, I hate it when people comment when I order a salad or no dessert, and feel like I have to justify myself; I usually say I can't have chicken or dairy hence the no dessert or only fruit option, but then they comment on 'oooh I should try that' which drives me insane (not having cheese is a nightmare, not a dieting option I picked!!). And to honest, my friends are probably healthier than me in that they exercise way more than I do. Anyway, I enjoy food and don't want to be stressed out by people who decided to count calories in everything. Good for them, but please don't ruin my meal. :)

Green 5 years 14 weeks

if they asked you to monitor their eating- yes, but still proceed with caution

raieven 5 years 14 weeks

Yes! I mean she is going to come to me eventually and complain of how "fat" she is! Ok Ok, in a perfect world, maybe-but realistically I probably wouldn't have the balls, my bf eats poorly and doesn't really make time for herself to workout or do yoga and I just want to tell her to get a grip on it but I don't want to hurt her. le sigh.

ElectroPopTart 5 years 14 weeks

YES for me because most of my friends are little chunky (they envy my discipline and consistency =P) and they always complain that they are fat then they go and eat A LOT...So I'm like "cool it, don't eat this or that and eat less"

carhornsinapril 5 years 14 weeks

no way. your friends are adults, not your children.

amers230 5 years 14 weeks

i think that's really rude, unless she was your best friend ever, or you two were doing the whole dieting/working out thing together and had agreed to keep each other in check. my old roomie's ex-bf said something to her about her eating pancakes and she has never forgotten it. those kind of comments are completely unnecessary. also maybe she was just having a "off" meal. i'm doing weight watchers and working out and everything, but i still allow myself a meal where i don't count points and i indulge a little. if a friend of mine had said that to me i would have been quite upset.

ilanac13 5 years 14 weeks

i know that it should be ok to say something - but personally i would not want someone to point it out to me since i'm really senseitive about that stuff. i know that my habits at times aren't the best - but please don't tell me :)

chocosugar 5 years 14 weeks

I think it depends because i am a really healthy eater and sometimes my friends make fun of it so when they are eating unhealthfully i try not to say anything about it. I do try to steer them in the right direction though by offering them what i eat or if they ask i will help them buy something healthy. I just think being healthy is a self thing and you can't force it on anyone you just have to be healthy for your own reasons and stick to it.

allenorton 5 years 14 weeks

all I know is that it pisses me the f*** off when my roommate nags me about buying instant white rice for myself in addition to our healthier brown rice. sometimes I just do not have the time to cook rice for an hour! she is not the one eating it, so why does she care? I don't drink soda or eat fried foods or red meat... but she still nags me about everything I eat if it has the slightest bit of sugar/fat/carbs/sodium.....I am very healthy (5'3 125 lbs) and I even weigh less than she does, so why all of the nagging?!?!?!People have NO right to comment on what anyone else is or isn't eating, unless the person has anorexia or bullemia which are serious mental disorders, and even then I wouldn't say anything unless I knew the person well.

allenorton 5 years 14 weeks

all I know is that it pisses me the f*** off when my roommate nags me about buying instant white rice for myself in addition to our healthier brown rice. sometimes I just do not have the time to cook rice for an hour! she is not the one eating it, so why does she care? I don't drink soda or eat fried foods or red meat... but she still nags me about everything I eat if it has the slightest bit of sugar/fat/carbs/sodium.....I am very healthy (5'3 125 lbs) and I even weigh less than she does, so why all of the nagging?!?!?! People have NO right to comment on what anyone else is or isn't eating, unless the person has anorexia or bullemia which are serious mental disorders, and even then I wouldn't say anything unless I knew the person well.

emalove 5 years 14 weeks

I have a few friends who don't eat all that healthy, but I would never tell them so. It's pretty rude, I think.

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