My boyfriend of a little over a yea has quit smoking as a part of my Christmas present this past holiday season. I think the influence that really got to him is that I told him that, it would make no sense for me to date and plan a future with someone that doesn't value their own life. I expressed that if he and I were to have children, I wouldn't want to become a widow because of his smoking addiction. I guess he agreed and felt that building a relationship and a future together is reason enough. During the process of him cutting back and finally quitting, which took almost 3 months, I would encourage him to talk to me about his anxieties and I would always reward him and tell him how proud I was every day, just so he knows that what he is doing is worth it...
I hope that helps.

I don't know, I think that he should quit because HE wants to.

I can understand giving up smoking for your significant other if they truly HATE it, but I guess because you were both smokers when you started dating - he doesn't see things that way. Unless you specifically tell him, look, I hate your smoking & I won't stand for it (which I think would probably alienate the guy more than anything) - you can't really do much.

The fact that he cut down from 2 packs A DAY to only 1 cigarette is amazing! Let him cut it out all together in his own time.

My advice is, tell him exactly what you just said - "I want us to live a long, healthy life together." He has to take his own initiative from there.

Be glad that he's cut down, but recognize that you can't make him quit if he's not ready. Sounds like he'll be ready soon though, if he only smokes one a day now. Give him time and don't judge him. Smoking is just one of many bad habits people can have. If that's his worst one, be grateful!

This is a really tough question to answer, as already people are disagreeing about it. I lost my grandma to cancer when I was a kid -- she was only 54. She also was a "light" smoker who thought that cancer just wouldn't happen to her. It was never a good time to quit for one reason or another. My mom has convinced some of her students to quit smoking because she tells them -- this is not just your life. You also affect the people who love you. One day, you will have children and you will love them more than anything you can imagine. Then, you'll have grandchildren and you will be amazed at how much you love them and you will want to see them grow up and be a part of their lives. So every time you decide to smoke a cigarette, you decide to take time away from knowing your future children and grandchildren.

I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and during our relationship I became a vegan, so I am in the same boat as you -- we both were meat eaters at the beginning of our relationship, but I changed. At first my boyfriend didn't change, and he wouldn't look at any of the research I wanted him to look at. Finally I told him that I love him so much that it hurts me to see him take part of a cruel industry and I couldn't stand it anymore for him to eat animals because it hurts me. Literally every time I thought of my wonderful boyfriend taking part in hurting and killing animals I felt pain. I'm sure you feel the same way, watching your boyfriend hurt himself -- it hurts you. My boyfriend would do anything to keep from hurting me, so he became vegan as well, because he loves me and didn't want to see me hurt like that. And at first, he was definitely doing it for me. But now it's been about 6 months and veganism has actually become very important to him, too, and I feel confident that he would keep it up even if we broke up. So while to some people that might seem like emotional blackmail or an ultimatum or something, I was just honest that his actions were hurting me, and he decided to stop those actions that caused me pain. I would hope that your fiance would do the same.

I basically agree with SundayGreen, with the added comment that, honestly, one a day doesn't seem so bad. If that one cigarette helped him otherwise give them up I'd let him finish up at his own pace.

I think hellokitty is on the right track. Give him time to do it gradually and be really encouraging, but stand your ground. One cigarette a day is an improvement but still damaging, and this habit can affect your health or the health of the family you may begin.

I finally quit smoking a few months ago. When I went to see my Dr. she told me it would take 2 years for my lungs to heal completely and they would never be at the same capacity as they were before. Maybe letting him know it will take a full 2 years for his lungs to heal and expel all of the junk from smoking would be a nudge in the right direction.

he seems to have cut down CONSIDERABLY, Why not just offer praise for what he has done not what he hasnt done, and let him finish quitting in his own time, you seem to have gotten to do it of your own accord, so let him do it of his, one really doesnt seem like a big deal, and it seems to me that he should be recognized for how much he has accomplished,

I never have smoked so I don't know what it would be like to try and quit. However we are addicted to many things. Perhaps you could agree to give up something your addicted too so that when he is giving up smoking he doesn't feel like he is going through it on his own.

I think health is a reasonable thing to make a deal breaker out of. When I was in college, I drank and smoked every single night. It was something I grew out of, and it sounds like you have too.

If my husband were into drinking and smoking, I wouldn't be attracted to him or his lifestyle. Sounds like you need to boundaries.

Smoking is a personal choice, just like anything else. Is it a good choice? obv, we all know that answer. but you can't force someone, give them an ultimatum or nag them to quit. You can give them you feelings, your fears and your worries, but if you love them you help them along their journey- and be patient. Someone that you love smoking is not just about you and the rest of your family, its them and their vices and selfishness. They have to want to quit- you should know, you smoked yourself. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. -one a day, a pack a day, its all AWFUL. Anybody can get cancer or die for random reasons, what are you going to do with your day and with your love?- its your choice nag about bad habits or love unconditionally? You will be amazed what happens when you are able to let it go and just love.

basically, i think you're going to have to decide how much it really bothers you, because he doesn't appear to want to change, even for you. and you may want to bring up/think about the fact that he seems to put a higher value on his daily cig than your happiness/opinion.

I quit using a version of Welbutrin that is prescribed for smoking cessation and it worked like a charm.

My husband used to smoke a TON and now he chews a boatload of Nicorette. in an ideal world he would cut down on the nicorette but he doesn't stink from the smoke AND we ran our first 5K this weekend so I'm not complaining

I used to smoke 2 packages a day and I stopped 3 years ago cold turkey. I can relate with both of you since I don't like the smell of the cigarretes now. But I think that they guy is only smoking ONE cigarrete a day, and the woman should not try to control evem that last cigarrete her boyfriend smokes. Let him live his life, cmon, it is only ONE cigarrete, learn to live with that!

The ONLY time anyone ever quits is when they're finally good and ready to do so. Something has to snap within them. He's already aware of how you feel ... it's a decision that he has to make on his own or he will never be able to stick with it.