I personally suffered from anorexia for over 5 years. I'm now studying to become a psychologist so I can help others.
One thing I really wish the generally public really understood was that it's not a choice, as much as it may seem like one to others and even the sufferer. ED's have their roots firmly in biology, sure the environment triggers the illness (as is the way all illnesses go) But having an eating disorder is about as much of a choice as it is to have cancer. Also, ED's are a flawed way of coping with the stress of life (much the same way drinking to excess, etc), no matter how 'ok' the suffer may appear to be on the surface, there is certainly deep hurt below the surface. If it was just about being skinny people would stop when they were. I feel like that gets said a lot but the general public just does not seem to get it.

One more thing, insurance coverage for ED's still sucks and needs reform.

Ok I'm off my soap box now.

I have also suffered from anorexia and am in the process of recovery still. While it didn't land me in the hospital (thank God), I did lose my period and my hair fell out. I think a lot of people don't realize the physical damages to your body from eating disorders. Also, people often think that once you gain weight you are "healed" but I still suffer from body-image issues today.

Well, I have said before that I suffered from anorexia for about 2 years. It all stemmed from something so silly. It started because I ate something that made me really sick and I became "afraid" to eat pretty much. Nothing to do with body image, really. I had a great, feminine figure. At first, I noticed I lost a few pounds and thought, ok that's cool. I just kept restricting my diet/calorie intake. Then I just started eating less and less and became more obsessive and before I knew it I was 98 lbs. And at 5'7", that does NOT look good! It dominated me, destroyed me physically and mentally. It strained relationships with those close to me. But let me tell you - you CAN recover from this and become strong again! I never went to rehab or anything like that. I learned all on my own that I needed to get back on track again and I did. I eat complete, healthy meals now and I look better than ever. I gradually gained my weight back and it went to all the right places. I weigh about 123 lbs. now and I feel wonderful! I have a whole new respect for myself now. I wish the best of luck to anyone who is going through this or knows someone who is. Stay strong, surround yourself with good people, and you CAN get through this. Don't worry about who is skinner or what not. Your worth is not determined by a size number. Everyone has different body types. Know what's healthy for you and focus on YOU. Well, that's my story. It felt good to share it.

"If it was just about being skinny people would stop when they were."- Very true, Teagan. May I also add, once I was very thin, it wasn't even about that. I just liked being obsessive. It made me feel powerful. I felt like if I couldn't control things going on around me, at least I could control my weight/diet, etc. I felt like every time I restricted myself, cut out some more calories, or lost another pound, I felt like I had "won" you know? It's hard to explain. Feeling good about that took away from things that I truly cared about. But like I said, you can recover. I'm living proof. Sorry to go on so much. Much love and good luck to you all.

My story relates a lot to Teagan's & miss malone's. I'm really not in the mood to go into the details right now, but I do agree with the fact that you don't choose to have an eating disorder whatsoever. It's absolutely not a decision, and it's not able being thin.

I've seen a lot of people suffer from them, friends and acquaintances and the people I've been in treatment with. It's an incredibly hard battle to fight. Usually, it turns out to be a lifelong or a very long battle, because it's a choice of fighting against it or not every day (and unfortunately, it's easier to give into it). I'm not recovered but I'm constantly working on it. At the least, these days I'm aiming for good health more than not.

My two sisters suffered from anorexia. Neither ended up in hospital, thank God, but they lost their period, their hair thinned and their bodies got covered with tiny fuzzy hair. I myself purged for about two years. I don't really know how the terms are defined, but it probably wasn't a full-blown bulimia, as I only purged at home and was able to just stop one day (when my bf almost broke up with me after I broke my promise to stop a few times, however). We all still have body-image issues and messed up approach to food (to various levels), but it's incomparably better.

Eating disorders have affected me very personally. I suffered with an EDNOS for about 4 years and I still consider myself recovering. I would go all day without eating and then binge at night. Then I'd exercise to get "rid" of all the food. I got underfat and lost my period, but I never got hospitalized for it. I'm still rather on the slim side, but my eating and exercise is a bit more normal now.

I agree that it's not about being thin, nor is it about looking pretty. Trust me, I NEVER felt pretty when I was suffering from my ED, even though I did get thin. I looked like crap most of the time and I often felt like crap. It really bothers me when my overweight friends say "I wish I was anorexic. Then I could be skinny!" Um, yeah, I wouldn't wish anorexia on my worst enemy. Also, you could possibly know people with EDs that aren't even skinny. Many obese people become anorexic to try and lose weight and are still overweight while they are losing weight and are in the process of becoming emaciated.

Eating disorders have been a huge part of my life in ways I never could have imagined. It all started when I went on a diet in Junior year of high school that just worked so well that I kept adding rules to it. Eventually I was down to 500 calories a day. I got better really quickly after my mom "surprised," or rather, saved me by bringing me to a clinic one day, but I developed bulimia during college. It went out of control after I graduated and lost the reliability of the college schedule and the constant social interaction that gave me the structure I wanted. It really is hard to explain to people and can be misconstrued. It really is an addiction like alcohol and drug addictions because it is a day to day struggle. It's rather devastating to realize this isn't just a phase in your life.

I suffered from anorexia and bulimia while I was in high school. It was really terrible. I remember the day my mom found me forcing myself to throw up. She accidentally opened the bathroom door, not knowing I was in there. It was the worst day of my life because I felt so ashamed, as if I had let her down. Ever since then I have been coping with the disorder and still battle with food daily. As an emotional eater with a history of eating disorders, each meal is a constant battle. Although it is difficult at times, I have made great strides. Once I got to college, I gained 20 pounds and I am still working to lose the weight with diet and exercise- the healthy way.

I agree that insurance coverage for ED desperately needs reform. I sought outpatient treatment for my bulimia/compulsive overexercising last fall and I called my insurance before to make sure it was covered. It was, but only for 11 appointments. While I'm thankful I was able to get some treatment rather than none, I had to leave the program early and suffered a strong relapse when I left.

EDs are a disease like any other, and prevention is key. Blue Cross said I wasn't "sick enough" so treatment wasn't "medically necessary." It's sad and backwards that they won't treat my eating disorder, but they'll treat more expensive complications that arise from it.

Thank you, Fit, for participating in awareness week.

I suffered from bulimia on and off for about 6 years. I don't have anything groundbreaking to say about the disorder, but I noticed no one had mentioned bulimia and I wanted to let people know that it's out there as well. While I haven't exhibited any bulimia-like behaviors for a couple of years now, I am very much into eating right and working out (more so than most women I know). I believe that once you struggle with body image issues, you will most likely struggle with them on some level for a long time, even if you no longer have an eating disorder. I cannot point my finger to one specific thing that caused my disorder (nor do I strive to do that), but I will say that I believe it is a mixture of nurture and nature. Very few things are solely caused by biology and very few things are solely caused by the environment. Like Teagan, I chose to become a psychologist. However, I do not focus on eating disorders, I actually work with young children in the schools. Some people say that it is a bad idea to go into psychology if you have had some sort of disorder yourself, but I disagree. Once you have suffered from a psychological disorder of any sort and seen the toll it can take on you and the ones you love and the extreme pain and strife caused by it, how could you not want to help others who deal with similar issues? Overall, I think that EATING DISORDERS SUCK and I empathize with anyone who has to encounter one (whether within themselves or within someone they love).

My battle with an eating disorder is currently ongoing. The hardest thing to deal with because of it is not just the mental struggle, but also the way it influences relationships in life. I've already begun to fight and lose friends over my inability to "get better." But what they fail to realize is that weight won't be put back on immediately, my mental state will take time to battle and that each meal I meticulously plan and analyze, all around creating stress and anxiety for my self and those closest me. It saddens me to know that this disease is costing me not only my mental and physical health, but also pushing those who do care about me farther and farther away.

I've said this before, but I'm currently in recovery from anorexia. Not only is it so misunderstood, but insurance coverage also is awful.
Unlike some people, when I was at my lightest, I did feel good about my body. but I was miserable: couldn't sleep, losing hair (it's more than just a few strands, it was disgusting and impossible to hide), growing that fuzzy hair everywhere, mean to everyone, super-sensitive to everything. Looking back at pictures, I can see now that I looked like I was on my death-bed.
what eventually drove me to recovery was seeing how it affected the people who cared about me. when i wasn't only hurting myself, i realized it was time to stop. it caused all kinds of heart problems that i don't want to get into (i was exercising hard through the whole thing).
Bottom line is, EDs are horrible for everyone involved, and unfortunately our society perpetuates them in some ways.

I'm still struggling with an eating disorder as well; I've never gone down the binging and purging route, which is one thing to thankful for, but in a way it helped me to deny what was going on. I wasn't making myself throw up, therefore I wasn't anorexic. I was, however, severely restricting my calorie intake and obsessing over food, and I'm still struggling with that on a daily basis. What really gets me is that I remember having a conversation about three years ago, when I was overweight, about disordered eating and making the blithe comment that "I could never become anorexic; I love food too much!" More fool me. It's a mental illness and it can happen to anyone. It was triggered when I finally started to lose weight after years of trying. Healthy weight loss became unhealthy obsession and I've since been diagnosed with clinical depression as well - another problem that I thought would "never happen to me". I'm seeing a therapist and a gynecologist and taking the struggle one day at a time! I'm better than I was this time last year, so I celebrate any progress! One question for those of you who stopped having periods - that's happened to me as well and I'm working with my doctor to try to get it back, but so far, no sign. How did that resolve itself with all of you? I'm not underweight, I don't think; I'm 5"6 and weigh about 124 pounds and my body fat percentage is about 20%. However, I am still struggling with stress, depression and anxiety, which I'm sure doesn't help.

I don't have an eating disorder, and I've never had one, but when I was 12-16 years old, I really really desperately WISHED I did. Yes, I said it: I wanted an eating disorder. WANTED.

I wanted it so badly - I even found pro-ana sites specifically for overweight girls. I don't think people realize that overweight and obese people can have eating disorders, too. Unfortunately, it looks like we're doing something awesome if overweight people begin to lose weight, even if it's too fast and it looks exactly like anorexia or bulimia. You can't be diagnosed with anorexia until you're less than 80% of your "normal" body weight [for your height and age and so on], so being overweight with the disorder goes untreated for a longer period of time.

I had a friend who was bulimic. She isn't now, but she's still completely obsessed with her weight. But she's still very thin, and I am jealous of her for that. Even with another friend, who began to show signs of anorexia and we got her help, she was still thin. And that's what it was for me. I've never seen an anorexic or bulimic become overweight, even if they get treatment. So, I figured, if I became anorexic, I'd lose the weight. Even if I died, at least my family wouldn't have to buy me a huge casket. And people would be able to carry me.

THAT'S how bad it got. No joke.

I know that eating disorders aren't really choices, but mechanisms. Even so, sometimes I still want every once in a while to be able to just STOP EATING altogether, just so I can be thin. That's how eating disorders have affected me.

i'm not really sure if i've ever had an eating disorder, but...
when i was in middle school i basically stopped eating for a week (except for a bowl of cereal or two) to lost 10 pounds in one week and that's with no exercise.
i didn't do it b/c of any wanting to be skinny.. the numbers on the scale just seemed to be getting too high for me. i naturally have a really good curvy shape and honestly i've never understood exactly why so many girls would want to look like scarecrows.. it just seems so unattractive to me
i just wish hollywood would start supporting healthy body weights.. that would probably solve a lot of anorexia and obesity problems in this country!

i consider myself recovered. my anorexia subtype purging started greatly damaging my life around my 14th year (i have earlier memories, but my quality of life didn't suffer) and was buried hopefully for good at my age now, 22. for me it is deeply intertwined with my overlying, more severe clinical depression (quite minor at the moment thankfully). but the point is, i made a lot of people who love me sad. i've failed them since and often but... hell can keep my ed.

ah i didn't mean to write this much.

I am recovering from both anorexia nervosa and binge eating disorder, two very opposite ends of the spectrum, but both disorders that managed to completely skew my life and change it to revolve almost entirely around food. it started when i was maybe 9, and grew into anorexia. i was hospitalized by 14, but developed BED by 16. it's been a hard journey, and put both me and my family through a lot of stress, but as long as you take every day one by one and every second as it comes to you, you can really do anything and learn to be comfortable in your own body and your own skin. every road is hard, but just because it feels bleak doesn't mean the struggle is futile.

I have compulsive overeating disorder. It's not as bad as anorexia or bulimia, but it is a problem. I eat until I'm sick and then I eat some more...several times a day. I don't know why. It's not dependent on my mood--I could be perfectly happy but still need to eat like crazy. I think about food 24 hours a day. There have been 3 brief periods of my life where I've done the binge/purge thing, but it always went more like binge/purge/bingebingebinge. The only reason I'm not rediculously overweight is because every once in a while I prettymuch starve myself to lose weight quickly, and then I put the weight back on, lose it again, put it back on... Anyway, I've been doing this for the past 12 years and it's a pain in my a**.

I wouldn't say that I actually had an eating disorder to the extent of what everyone here is talking about, but all through high school I wouldn't eat for days, then I would binge, then if I felt guilty enough, go through it up. This occurred alot when I had my period, to stop it I would stop eating therefore I only had it for a few days. So I never got treatment, but it does mess with your spirit and self esteem. I don't want my daughter to go through what I did or worse. Hopefully I can teach her that she is beautiful and eating right and exercising is always the best thing to do for weight management and your self esteem.

When I was a teenager, I had a brush with eating disorder. Thankfully, I had the eating disorder AFTER I was sexually matured (I was menstruating) versus before. Later in life, I met a woman who was anorexic BEFORE she menstruated. It stunted her sexual maturity, and she's sterile because of it.

I made a full recovery -- physically and psychologically.

i would say that i am EDNOS, with both anorexic and bulimic tendencies. i've never been diagnosed, but things haven't been right since i was around 14 or 15. i won't get into all the details, if you want to hear more, just message me and i'll tell you all you want.

but i want to say that i never chose this, and i wish it never happened. it's a constant state of flux. i relapse, then i recover, back and forth. i would never wish this upon anyone. when i was in high school, i lost many friends because of this. i lost boyfriends. everyone gave up on trying. a coach and a teacher held an intervention and invited my mother to join. my period stopped, and is irregular now. my hair came out easier. i felt so weak. my metabolism is low. this disorder consumed me. all my thoughts were of food, weight, diet, numbers, tons of numbers. life became so monotonous and at one point i thought, "wow is this what life will be like for me? is this my future?" because every day was the same struggle. give in, and be guilty. starve on, be proud, but be in pain.

you can't just "stop." it isn't easy. i've become quite amazed by this disorder; i've read books on it, seen movies and documentaries, articles, everything. i read my old journals to try and find out what went wrong. what happened? did something trigger this? why do i feel like this? just...WHY?

props to everyone willing to make a comment about this, and to fitsugar for participating in awareness week.

Soapbox Time for me!

from about age 13 and all throughout highschool i was fairly heavily bulimic... i ended up quitting dance because there was too much pressure and it absolutely consumed my life and ruled the way that i lived my days. what i ate, how much i ate, how much i managed to throw up, whether or not this would be the day my parents would find out... yes, throwing up constantly is pretty gross, but you think bulimics don't feel any sense of shame in it themselves? condemnation isn't going to help. of course there were good days and bad days, and sometimes i managed to go weeks without binging and purging... and then there would be days where i did it maybe 6 times a day.

i also started taking up singing and voice lessons seriously in high school, and though i'm not practicing as regularly these days as i once was, i still wonder how much of a cumulative effect throwing up on average nearly every day for four years has had on my voice and my throat... i don't think i'll ever know, but i don't think i can write it off and i worry about long-term health repercussions.

when i entered college i managed to pretty much 'quit' bulimic behavior because i was living in a dorm and purging became pretty much impossible. i still wasn't used to keeping food down so i did put weight and had really irregular eating patterns, though, and i never, never was able to put body image out of my head, rather i cried about it constantly, it seems.

then when i moved out of dorms i managed to hold things together for a while... and then came a few sporadic binge/purge episodes.

i no longer fall under the umbrella of "bulimia" because textbook definitions say you need to have bulimic episodes on average twice a week for two months... but i still have them.

rather i fall under ED-NOS these days, and starving myself is a great day. either i have good days, or i feel horribly guilty, but i also have b/p days occasionally and then cease to feel anything.
lately i've been getting sick really easily, even though i used to have a strong immune system. i'm always cold and usually tired, and lately i think i really LOOK tired. the last time my mother visited me she was really concerned by how thin my hair looked.... basically i feel crappy most of the time, but that's normal, and because it's making me thinner i'm okay with it.
i don't have anorexia because my bmi is still above 18 or so. well above it in fact. i'm told my bmi is within a "normal" and "healthy" range but i think that's a ton of lies, and bmis are a flawed calculation tool anyway, aren't they? of course that doesn't stop me from wanting a bmi of 18. or 16.
anyway, i guess i look "normal," as upsetting as that thought is, because i'm pretty sure i'm a cow. but no one would ever guess the obsession that goes on behind closed doors.

i think in my opinion one of the dumbest things about clinical treatment and diagnosis of EDs is how they're divided up... being diagnosed with anorexia is dependent primarily on body weight... being bulimic means you have to meet a certain set of standards for what you call a binge and how often it happens. in the discussions i've had with people with EDs of all different types, it's basically, basically the same mindset underlying all of them. different behaviors, yes. and sometimes it's really easy to divide up into basic categories - some people seem really "bulimic" while some obviously fall more into the "anorexic" camp. but then what about people whose eating is just horribly disorded yet they don't fall into either camp perfectly? in my opinion, if you have an eating disorder, then you just have an eating disorder. categories make some difference for treatment purpose but their importance is really, really overemphasized.

i hate how the medical profession doesn't seem to take EDs seriously. i hate how normal people don't seem to understand that people with EDs SUFFER and there's nothing glamorous about it. and as someone who has suffered from bulimia i can tell you, it's not as easy to "glamorize" as anorexia seems to be, but seeing as there's no actual glamor in anorexia anyway, i wish people wouldn't underestimate the power and pain of bulimic behavior. all EDs are serious physical and psychological problems that should be treated with the appropriate gravity. there is more to them than meets the surface and they are not things people simply choose, no more things they can simply quit. anorexia CANNOT be solved by "just eating a fricking sandwich" and when people say that it absolutely makes my blood boil. i wish it COULD, but sadly... that doesn't seem to work.

i don't know, i could probably go on forever about this but i feel like that's all i have at the moment. i know that was a long rant, but it's a topic i don't think people seriously hear enough about. to all my fellow ed sufferers and recoverers on sugar, keep fighting.

i've binged my entire life, but never really recognized it as a problem until i started packing on the pounds as an adult. then, i starved myself to lose weight. i've given up on the anorexia part of things, gaining 30 pounds in the process, and am doing my best to love my body. i'm still coming to terms with the up and downs of the day to day. i blog about it: letterstomybody.blogspot.com

I think everyone goes through a "phase" in their life when they think they have an eating disorder.. well, not everyone. But a lot of people. I find it kind of offensive actually when people think that they are anorexic when they just simply.. do a fast.. or dont eat for a few days.. anorexia is MUCH more complicated than that. Bulimia is also quite misunderstood. It isn't like.. oh I ate a cookie and i made myself throw up once.. its really more like.. i ate 2 boxes of cookies, a pizza, and some chips.. and then threw up. Bulimic people often aren't even underweight, or even 'skinny' because of the overeating. Anyway, unless your weight is your absolute OBSESSION and it takes over your ENTIRE life and is debilitating, then you do not have an eating disorder.

Teagan and missmalone said everything i wanted to say, i wouldn't be able to put it as good as them

i was once really really thin, a point where everybody started to notice and was worried

at this very moment, i still restrict what i eat too, but in so much better than i used to be

This is all really sad... but the worst part is that I want to lose weight soooo bad but I can't stop eating! I wish I could have the discipline and self-control to be anorexic or buliminc. I diet, try to eat healthy, and exercise 4-5 days a week. But when I don't see results... I try to either throw up or starve myself and it doesn't work! I get so frustrated that I end up binging and I feel even worse. Sometimes I wonder if that's an eating disorder in itself... even though it's not anorexia or bulimia and I'm still 20 lbs overweight I still really struggle with my body issues. I'll joke with friends that I love food too much to have an eating disorder, but I really do become obsessed about my body. It's like something comes over me and I try to lose weight so hard but ten binge. I don't do it on purpose! It's like I don't have a choice either... It's so confusing...

I have not technically suffered from an eating disorder, but I do suffer from Body Dysphormic Disorder (BDD). It's not well known at all and should be. It is basically distorted body image and very low self esteem at its best. At its worst it can cause manic depression and suicidal tendencies.
BDD is very serious, just as eating disorders. In fact some people who have eating disorders also have extreme BDD. I suggest everyone researches it. Like eating disorders, it is a psychological disorder; it is not a choice.

Teagan said everything i wanted to.... but ill add...i had anorexia with purging tendancies for 3 years and haven't 100% recovered yet ....im not sure i will ever be able to switch off my brain when it comes to it though. im still terriefied of alot of foods and cant bring myself to eat them. it wasnt a choice and to everyone reading this who whishes they were anorexic you have no idea what you're saying, it takes over your life, i lost friends because i avoided going out to places i knew i had to eat - i avoided my best friends 18th birthday by faking the flu and to this day i wish i could take back that action(although she knew and understood more than anyone and we got through it) it destroys your body and life. mine didn't develop because i wanted to lose weight but as a result of a sexual attack where i had no control in the instance or in the system after where the victim is treated almost as a criminal and given no choices. it was my way of dealing, stopping my emotions, gaining back control over my life and almost redefining myself.
i hate how misunderstood it is in the media and by the majority of people,(luckily i had an amazing best friend and boyfriend who didnt judge and basically saved my life) reading vogue didn't make me anorexic! its not a choice its a disease and needs to be addressed in that way instead of being branded as a silly vain girls phase, the system needs to change, as said above the diagnostic criteria is near useless as i met poeople in recovery who were quite overweight to start and so have resulted in destroying their body more because it went undetected for so much longer, diagnosis needs to be based more on the behavioural traits rather than bmi.
ill stop now...but it just makes me so angry when people judge and make assumptions about what they dont understand and im not sure this can be understood fully unless experienced

Wild Magelet --

I tried to find an article I read years ago in Health magazine about amenorrea, but no luck. I lost my period completely for about four years, and was bulimic during this entire time (plus for a couple years before the amenorrea started). However, at my thinnest, which was pretty thin, I was never "underweight," and sometimes I was at the high end of what is "normal." (I take issue with BMI charts, but that's another story.)

Anyway, this article in Health talked about women who lost their periods due to stress, nothing to do with eating disorders. I was blown away because I'd always just assumed that you had to be sickly skin-and-bones to lose it, and I *appeared* healthy (ha), so I couldn't figure out why I'd lost it. In my case, and possibly in yours, it had to do with massive stress and anxiety.

So . . . I would work on that. Easier said than done : ) But FYI, it can be done. I'm recovered from my eating disorder, albeit I still carry some minor body image issues, but they don't rule my life . . . and quite honestly I'm not even sure if they qualify as "issues" because I don't think about them a whole lot . . . which is funny because I'm at a weight now that during my ED'd period I thought was "fat." It is almost funny to think about that if it weren't so sad.

I sometimes in the past have worried that my interest in health and fitness is just a different manifestation of my ED, but I would have to say no, because I eat & move the way I do because it makes me feel good, and I don't assign it moral value. I eat what I want (I know plenty of people claim that, but I believe I really do) and I exercise moderately because I want to. I don't feel bad if I don't exercise -- I listen to my body, and if it says, my dear, this is a day to chill out, then I say, yes ma'am.

And PS, my period has been solidly back for nearly three years now : ) I wish I could tell you A + B + C how to do it, but I can't. You have to do some serious soul searching about where you hold stress in your life, and figure out how to lessen or eliminate it. It'll take some time, but it's worth it.

Good luck -- and good luck to everyone else who wrote here : )

I was anorexic for about 4 years when I was in middle and high school, and although I've recovered I sometimes feel myself slide backward when i get stressed or anxious. Luckily I recognize that enough to be aware and back off when it happens, so I'm thankful for that.

is obsessing about your weight for your entire life an eating disorder? then that's what i have.

Candace- there is actually quite a wide spectrum for eating disorders... so lets not judge and just allow people to share their stories.
...but to be on topic, I have been trying to "recover" from bulimia for the last..ohhhh...two years, i guess. I am considerably better now than I have been in the past (primarily mentally, as i still have baaaad b/p days). I am much more capable of bouncing back and talking myself back to reality after my slip-ups. Eating disorders are miserable, filthy, disgusting monsters that ruin your life. I wouldn't wish one upon my worst enemy. I have many nights where I was triggered by an exam the following day or another stressor, and I would stay up ALL NIGHT just stuffing myself with whatever was in the house. Often my roommate's food that was disgusting, old, stale... it didn't matter. Anything I could stuff down to bring on that horrible pain so I could throw up. Needless to say, very little studying ever got done. There is nothing quite as shameful as a behavior like that and feeling completely out of control and unable to JUST STOP. It's a scary thing. Bulimia brought me close to suicide, and I often thought, "if this doesn't go away or kill me within the next however many months, I am going to kill myself, because this is not a life, it is hell on earth." Luckily, I am still here and sloooowly making progress.

i've suffered from EDs for years now, and as much as i want to say that i'm not nearly as neurotic as i was, well that's not the case. it's really hard when you know how to be healthy and conscious, but you just can't do it. i try my best to balance things so that i'm not fanatical and i'm not un healthy, but it's just a hard battle...that seems to never get easier.

One of my best friends was anorexic...I still worry about her to this day. I also have another person (male) who currently suffers...

Annorexia is a man made desease. That is, a desease caused by the human male. Men make women feel worthless, so that they only value their pysical apearance. Society is dominated by men who keep women oppressed by fueling their insecurities. Men are evil - we must purge them from our lives.

I agree with candace87 ONE MILLION percent.
While I think its admirable and have nothing but respect for those who share thier story and all, it seems like every person you meet says they have or had had an eating disorder. it is offensive, because often times they dont or didnt. They just had some messed up eating and food behaviours for a while, often which involved extreme dieting or soemthing. But to say you have had an ED seems to provoke attention. I am SURE in many cases the person ahd legitimately had or has an ED. but there are the few out there who just throw the term around like its trendy or soemthing...totally disrespectful and hurtful to those who really do have EDs.

P.S. Please don't eat me alive here....Im not saying at ALL that anyone who posted here does not have an ED. I have no right to say that, nor do I have any proof of that.

*I have witnessed this and seen some people close to me get very hurt in this sort of situation who really have had serious EDs, so I am sorry, it strikes a sore spot with me*

When I was a teenager, I had a friend who was annorexic. Having spent my whole life overweight, I thought if I tried it then it might work for me. I never got the guts though. I watched my friend go through hospitalizations and recovery. She's 'recovered' today. I'm not sure how recovered you can actually be though. She tells me that she still wants to sometimes. Especially when she got pregnant. I worry about her a lot.

To everyone else who has shared their stories, bravo. To those who are recovered and recovering, bravo. I wish you the best and the strength you need to be okay.

When I was in high school I danced with bulimia and anorexia as a track athlete and someone that was too poor to eat a good deal of the time. I realized how serious the situation had gotten when some girlfriends went to school counselors because they were worried about how thin I was. The counselors didn't do anything though because I was winning my events and popular since I was a jock. My friends concern is what pulled me out of the bulimia since that is what I had some control over.

In college I had a track coach that wanted me to drop some weight and was cool with bulimia if that is what it took. I thought she was insane because it was hard to overcome when I was in high school. I didn't want to do that to myself again.

Even to this day I have issues. When I do get sick and toss my cookies it still really comes out easily and will go through my nasal passages like nothing. That is disgusting but not something I can control. Part of me is still wired to do that.

im with xbethanyx.. was anorexic with bulimic tendencies during college. I became addicted to all kinds of uppers my junior and senior years and therefore went days without any food. When I didnt have drugs I returned to my caloric restriction of less than 500 cals. However, when I broke down and ate something bad I couldnt stop and binged uncontrollably for a few hours and thereafter spent an hour purging all of it.

My drug problem ceased and I have gained some weight. I eat about one meal per day and since I've been eating a pescatarian diet for over a year I try to make that one meal as nutritionally fulfilling as possible. My stomach has definitely shrunk and I would have to work my way back up to 3 meals per day but it seems like so much..

I typically lie when any conversation turns to meals eaten that day. It was and always has been great to have this to manage

My bulemia started in high school and has come and go over the past 14 years. I'm 30 now and still struggle with it. Sometimes I will go months without bingeing or purging and then I will do it everyday for months. The depression I also struggle with seems to go hand in hand with the bulemia. If one is worse, then so is the other. Right now I'm in the middle of a relapse and have been for the past 4 months. I do okay during the week but on weekends I consume ridiculous amounts of food and purge it til I can't stand to even look at myself. What is weird is that I exercise regularly and eat very healthy during the week, but I can't seem to do that on weekends once I have time on my hands. It's a constant struggle that I tell no one about. I have no social life on the weekends because I would rather sit at home binge. It's very sad.

I've suffered from EDs for over ten years now, starting when I was 13. I've gone from anorexia, to bulimia, to COE. It's ruled my life for ten years and I just can't make it stop. Sometimes I feel really out of control and just want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

I would just like to reinfoirce what starangel82 has said and hope that everyone suffering through an eating disorder can get the help that they need and are able to overcome it.

It makes me so sad to read the stories and about these experiences but I think there needs to be a greater understanding of these disorders and you are all very brave to share with everyone. This is far too common and can ruin the lives of otherwise strong, beautful and wonderful women. Please hang in there, there are a lot of people rooting for you.

I've been bulimic for over 3 years. Looking back, I can't remember a time in my life when I ever had a healthy relationship with food. I spent 7 weeks (over two stays) in a treatment facility in 2007 before my insurance gave me the boot. I have no friends and I dropped out of college because I never want to leave the house. I feel too fat to go out and I think that everyone who looks at me will see how fat I am (I know that I'm not really "fat". I'm on the lower end of normal weight for my height). Pretty much the only time I leave the house is to go to the gym. I'm not recovered, but I'm trying really hard. Eating disorders are VERY difficult to recover from but I believe that we all can do it. I wish all of you luck!

I've had disordered eating for about 10 years. I still struggle and typically eat less than 1500 calories a day.
Horrible. I am too scared to seek treatment because I am training to be a social worker and they don't let you do this if you have a diagnosis of a mental health problem.

I have been effected by anorexia (w/ purging-type) for 8 years. I have been FORCED into treatment, but recovery is not really something that can be imposed. It's just something that I have accepted now, but I know that in the long run, it's not possible to have a full life with this taking up so much energy and time. I have been lucky not to have any serious physical ramifications, despite attaining a very low weight, but most people are not that fortunate. Eating disorders are not something that one can really understand unless you've lived with one.

I started having an eating disorder in High School, I became anorexic but I did not really recognize it. I went to a clinic but did not cooperate. Then I had my first bout of depression and went on anti-depressants and off to college. During my college years I had varying types of eating disorders, anorexia for a couple of weeks, bulimia for a couple of months, over exercising, etc. I went off of anti-depressants but never really addressed my eating disorder which seems to go away and come back. Now it has morphed into binging, occasionally purging and obsessing over food. It seems to come and go and does not fit into a textbook of any type of eating disorder. I don't really know how to fix it and am wary of all the costs associated with going and getting help. Any suggestions and similar stories would be greatly appreciated!

to be brief, as i'm sure we've all had to be.....i was really sick with both anorexia and bulimia for about 8 years, hospitalized several times for one or two month spells.

the key thing is here: i got nearly completely better about 3 years ago. i still have to be watchful (but not too watchful if you know what i mean) of my habits when i get stressed for a prolonged period of time, but i consider myself fully recovered almost to the freak of nature level.so it is possible guys and girls. i swear to it. just keep believing and working and knowing you're worth it. please do.

Wow, it shocks me how many have had issues with eating disorders. As much treatment and groups as I've been too, it always shocks me that so many others are going through the same thing, considering that none of my friends deal with it.

I also have been in both camps of anorexia and bulimia, which started in high school. Being a chubby kid in middle school, I lost weight in high school without trying and slowly it turned into an obsession. It sucks how much my weight obsession has taken from my life, but at the same time I wouldn't be the person I am today Although I've made fairly significant recovery I still have stressful times when I regress, but it's all about how fast your are able to pull yourself out of the starvation, binge, purge cycle. It makes me sad when I hear people talk about how they wish they had anorexia or could make themselves throw up. Honestly, you don't want to learn how to make yourself throw up. It took me months to really learn &, so now it is always this option in the back of my mind as unhealthy as I know it is. So please seek counseling if you find yourself desiring to start.