My mom always had a nice body - she is very petite. But when I went through my chubby stage she would sometimes say rude things to me and now my self-esteem SUCKS!

Lovely Im with you on that one. My mom would tell me i was fat. and one day i told her when she said it AGAIN.. that i grew up with her telling me that and that it did affect my self esteem instead of making me happy at 120 lbs. I started diets to lose more weight but ended up gaining more.. so i told her to stop. and she did. right now, im exercising lots and eating well and very happy about my body image and back to my normal weight! and i love my mommy even more!!!

My mother never talked about body image except to tell me I was beautiful. My dad, on the other hand, did it in a different way. He would "joke around" with me about gaining a few lbs here and there. Even though I know now that he meant absolutely nothing by it, it really messed with my self esteem for a long time.

I heard a 3 year old girl talk about "having a gut" last Christmas. It REALLY disheartened me and made me sad. A girl at three shouldn't know what a "gut" is, much less be concerned with having one.

Pretty much every opinion you have as a parent matters to kids.

My dad called me Crisco butt. My mom was constantly on a diet, diet pills both OTC and RX. When my brother was 3, he ate an entire box of her chocolate candy diet pills and had to go get his stomach pumped! He was up for 4 days straight from that.

She and I always dieted together. Low carb, atkins, scarsdale, every powder drink known to man.

She'd always tell me that I had 'big legs and butt'.

How weird was it that she was furious that I had to be treated for an eating disorder.

I'm trying really hard to raise my kids with ultra healthy eating and we work out and do yoga. They will probably say I messed them up because I don't want them to have so much sugar and processed foods. I wonder if a parent can really ever win. lol

I have to say, this is definitely one of the areas where I'm thankful I have such a good mom. To this day, I have never heard her complain about her weight or aging. My mom looks like everyone else's mom - she's got her bits and pieces - but you'd never know she notices. I give her credit for the fact that my sister and have relatively few body image issues when compared with others our age.

Ditto for aging - she embraced her birthdays and never complains about wrinkles or being in her late 60's. I find myself doing the same - in comparison to my other friends in their late 20's that are already doing botox and considering tummy tucks.

My mom blamed her weight for her divorce, even though my dad left her for another very full-figured woman. I was 12 or so at the time and started eating very little, writing every calorie down, dropping massive amounts of weight. I didn't make the connection until later in life, but I do think it messed with my head.

My mom was (still is) fat when I was growing up and she would say things sometimes--not often, but I know she is not happy with how she looks. She definitely had issues with food that she passed along to me, but I don't know if the body image comments contributed to my issues too. maybe. I will definitely be careful not to say anything around my kids, if I have them. I will also not let my kids eat the crap I ate when I was growing up, so hopefully they'll have healthier attitudes about food & weight.

Oh dear... my mom has had a constant battle with her body image, ever since I can remember, even though she is tiny. I think that helped contribute to my own struggles.

I grew up with an overweight mom who had/has a thyroid problem. I have seen her do every diet perfectly, as in if I or someone else had done it, they would have lost massive amounts of weight, and she could never lose a pound. I remember not being about to go to certain restaurants when she was dieting, because they didn't have salads. I got chubby in 6th grade and she put me on a low-fat diet (that was when those where huge, in mid-90's). I really don't feel like she was the one that affected me, because I gained and lost weight all through college because of circumstances there. I once developed an eating disorder simply because I felt that a guy in my life did not want to be with me because I was too fat. It seems that other girls have always made me feel like I needed to drop weight, not my mom. I do agree that what your mother says about weight has an impact, though.

But like some have said, little girls who have no weight problems being on diets is crazy. Let kids be kids! They have no idea how lucky they are not to deal with the things we do as grown-ups!

My Mom always and still makes comments about my weight and how she was always so much skinnier at her age, and I assure you I am FAR from being overweight. It def has screwed with my head and makes me paranoid to go home because she notices and comments on any ounce I have gained.

My mom talks about hers...and mine...
It's taken a lot of work to convince myself she's a)half projecting b)half concerned about my health...but my mom is and has always made the way I look an issue. When you come from a culture that traditionally has arranged marriages, where almost everything is based on a first impression, I think it's inevitable.

I'm so lucky to have my mom. She's a mail carrier so for 20+ years has stood and walked all day long. She's thin, but not particularly healthy. But she NEVER told me I was fat. Instead she'd be sneaky and say let's eat healthy! and not buy candy to help me. Now that we're both older she's more comfortable talking about things like going on a mini diet to loose her belly before a vacation. But my mom always told me to be who I want and she'd love me no matter what. Even when my hair was pink or blue. Or maybe Especially when my hair was pink or blue.
My dad on the other hand has always been a health nut. He's a drummer, so his life is constant practicing and playing, sweating hard. He was into Yoga WAY before it was cool, used to run before he hurt his knee. He's in GREAT shape. And while I didn't when I was younger, I now talk to him about health and things. And I love doing yoga with him!

My mother has always made comments about my weight.. comments like "Do you need that cookie?" and "That kinda makes you look big" and comparing me to her weight when she was younger... got my so frustrated and has torn us apart to this day.

I am lucky that my mom has never made weight an issue, although I sometimes wish that she had. I grew up having no idea what healthy eating was, and reached over 200 lbs. in high school. I was super unhappy, and basically learned about healthy eating/exercising on my own in college. It was hard being overweight growing up, since riding horses is my passion, and you can't ride very effectively at that weight. It is something that I still struggle with, but my mom has very little to do with it.

I will never subject my children to the emotional hell my mother imposed upon me with regards to my weight. I love her to death, and she is probably the reason I am so obsessed with my health today, but there was nothing healthy about my struggles to get here.

I think parents play a great role in a little girl's mind.
And above all the mommy.

My mommy has a great body, she eats healthy but she is not obsessed about it.
She helped me to learn how to see myself and which is the right approach to food and fitness.

Denise is great!

Oh goodness, I have caught myself making negative comments about myself in front of my kiddo. Then she yells at me and says, "Mom, why do you always say you're fat when you're not?" Heh. I have always had a negative body image, but it did not come from anything my parents said or did. I've just always had low self-esteem. I do not want her to go through that, so I really am watching myself now. When I exercise or go to the gym, I explain to her that it's to keep myself healthy, not anything about weight or self-image.

My mom was always thin, she did not have weight problems until she was well into her 50s. I however took after my dad. I was pudgy until 14 when I lost weight. Neither my mom or dad ever said anything to me other than I was beautiful. Even when I am heavy I don't have a bad body image, I know it is not healthy and I feel better and more attractive when I am thinner but I never felt fat. When I would gain a few pounds as a teenager I would just tell my mom I needed more salad stuff around, she always helped me, but did not tell me I needed to or anything else. I do think that parents can have a huge impact on their daughters and sons body image and you have to be very careful. My 2nd daughter was a pudgy (not at all fat) preteen, she lost at 14 much the same way I did, she is very fit now and takes good care of herself. I would never have told her she was anything but gorgeous!

Yikes! I can't believe a mother would tell her child she was overweight! Eeeek. My mom always had us playing sports and eating healthy so our weight was never really a problem growing up. She was often on weight watchers or other programs but she tended to not talk about her weight in front of us (she's pretty slender).

I read an amazing article in the Fitness May 08 article about a mom who decided she'd start introducing fitness in her daughter's life to help her self esteem. It was an amazing piece and very inspiring. I hope that more moms will realize the way that sports can really uplift a child and help them stay in shape and gain confidence.

My mom was naturally skinny--a trait I did not inherit! She never said anything rude or hurtful, but she could not relate at all when I was depressed about my weight as a pre-teen/teen. She just didn't get why it made me so upset (I grew up in a very image-conscious, WASPy town). Now that she's 60 and is having problems with her weight, she finally sees how frustrating it is.

one of my earliest memories as a little kid was not being able to have my mom tuck me in some nights because she was at jenny craig - my mom was always on a diet, doing one thing and then another, every diet under the sun. my dad's been the same way too although he played soccer professionally in his 20's and was in relatively great shape when i was a child. my whole family has weight issues now, and they're all either really overweight or obese. i honestly don't know if my mother's dieting when i was little factored into my eating disorder at all. she blames herself for it sometimes, and then she just gets really angry at me for "getting too carried away with a diet" but the disorder's got a lot more to do with my eating than just that. the fact of the matter is, for me, my obsessions and rituals and disorder in general weren't 'influenced' by anyone, nor do i know what really triggered it.

Holy cow, I'm shocked that so many of you had mothers and/or fathers who would comment on your weight like that! I think the only negative thing my mom ever said about her appearance was to say that she couldn't go out until she put her makeup on because she didn't want to scare anyone. I still tease her about that today and she says that it obviously didn't affect me since I wear so little makeup and have no problem going out without any on!

My mom made few comments on her weight and was always supportive of us if we gained weight or anything, now whenever she sees us she just says how great we look.

my parents had more important conversations with me that didn't surround around looks or weight (they cared about forming our minds and making us curious, well-read, street-smart, aware, and imaginative). all of my siblings are healthy and well-adjusted adults (with no body image issues). i can't imagine how awful it must have been to grow up with some of the parents mentioned in these comments!

My dad used to...it REALLY hurt me bcuz I was going through alot emotionally (after my mom passed away), I gained 15 lbs, and really wasnt strong enough to take those kindof comments from him...
NICELY suggesting heathier choices would have been much easier on me.

My mom always talked about her weight and her body when I was growing up. Oddly enough she's one of only two healthy/thin sisters in a family of eight.

It never used to affect me, because I was stick thin up until about two years ago. Now I've put on weight, and there is definitely a number that I'm afraid of seeing on the scale. I also only see her once or twice a year and whenever I do I know she's guaranteed to comment on my weight... thanks, Mom!

My mother has been anorexic and bulimic. And guess what ? I've never had a healthy body image. I'm still struggling with weight issues. I work out every day, watch every calorie I eat and can't wear anything but a size 0 or else, I feel fat.

I saw my mom yo-yo diet for years and decided I wasn't going to do that. I was going to eat healthy and exercise and NEVER get fat, because (according to Mom) being fat is tantamount to being the ugliest, most undesirable person in the world.
But the fact that I have never gotten fat didn't really help.
When I was trying on wedding dresses the other week, she commented that I could stand to lose at least five pounds before the fitting. I'm 5'6" and about 140lbs.

I think she's just really concerned about how society looks at women when they are overweight and she doesn't want people to treat me bad because of how I look.
That said, it's still really frustrating and I feel like my weight will never be satisfactory.

My Mom is the reason why I had the body image I did and the drive for perfection and a gorgeous physique now...she constantly would complain of her own body and when she married her second husband...a 27 yr old hottie, she would never want to go to the beach or walk around in a bikini b/c of how she looked, and was so jealous of other younger women who would flaunt their bodies, thinking that's what he wanted. Hearing so much how she hated her body in a bikini and how it basically was debilitating in her relationship, I never wanted to be that way, so I became obsessed with working out pretty much lol. But now I love my body (almost borderline too vain hehe) and am so proud of it. And at that, while I am working with my own personal trainers and nutrition advisors, she is constantly still criticizing me and my weight or how I eat, saying I need to get "normal" but the average "normal" American is not fit or healthy. Yes I'm in like the 2-5% that is extremely healthy and fit, but around the average person, I'm left looking abnormal and a constant reminder of how unfit/unhealthy they are, so then I get those attacks too. Really, no one wants to be reminded of what they are doing to their bodies, and so you get the critiques from all around.

my mom always used to talk about how "fat" she was. she always looked beautiful to me! but, now i find myself being really concerned about my weight and i always ask my husband if i look fat. i definitely think it's from being exposed to that negative self-image growing up.

My mom didn't make a lot of references to body image regarding herself, but she was always fit and athletic, I was always a very skinny child/teenager but I do remember when I started modeling and became more aware of the potential for body flaws that my mom didn't take a supportive role. I didn't realize how much one comment can affect a child until I read this post, and then I remembered the one thing that got me started on what became an all out war against my body, I had turned 17 and at 5' 7" gone from a size 00 to a size 1 (big deal) but it made me suddenly aware that my body had the capacity to become larger which I knew from a fashion obsession was "bad" and one day I made a comment about my body worries to my mom, hoping for some reassurance and what I got instead was "well...you need to tone up a little more, that would help". That was all I needed, 7 years later I still struggle with acceptance.

My mom is the opposite, thinks I am too manic about working out & eating healthy. But we are both petite & she has maintained a healthy weight over the years, just not quite as hard core about it as me.

I do remember my dad pointing out that I was gaining weight in college (hello, Freshman 15), and I did get offended/hurt by that. Then he felt bad...

I'm torn - I do resent that my mother passed her weight issues on to me and I have always struggled with my body image. But at the same time I am thankful to have a health nut as a mother, because I am proud that I eat well, exercise a lot, and generally take good care of myself. It was motivating and inspiring to have a mom that did triathalons, and woke up at 4:30 to exercise before she had to be at work by 7.

When I have children I will try really hard to focus on the healthy eating and exercising instead of weight. Maybe instead of teasing: "do you really want that second piece of bread" like i heard, I will tease, "I bet you cant do as many pushups as I can." Who knows - maybe thats just as bad.

Once things for sure: parents really do lead by example.

*my first post* I finally joined after months of lurking, hehe.

I can't imagine my mom NOT criticizing my body or weight... and it definitely messed with my self esteem and body image. She's always been concerned with her weight (since she was a teenager) and she projected a lot of that onto me when I became a teenager. Mostly comments about fat here or there on my body, that my thighs and butt are too big, that if I slimmed down here or there I would look better in certain clothes, my face looks fat, etc. The problem was that sometimes she would say these things in a regular tone of voice so that it didn't sound mean and other times she said it in a snarky, hurtful way; in sum, that made it seem kinda normal.

I never developed an eating disorder except to sometimes overeat out of spite because I felt (and still feel to a lesser extent) resentful toward her. I've accepted that my body just does certain things and there's not much I can do about it even with exercise. I'm only 5'1 and I've never been under 128 lbs or less than a size 6 since hitting puberty; I think that's the size my body needs to be at.

That was a lot longer than I intended *blush* and I obviously still have issues with her and my weight. It's taken a few years for me to stop internalizing her negative comments and just ignore them... heh, I just did it yesterday actually. It sucks but she doesn't see why I would have a problem with it (her defense: I'm just telling you that piece of clothing makes your butt/thighs look huge/fat so you don't look bad).

Wow... look at all those responses. My 105 lbs mother would stand up everyday after dinner and say how fat she was. We all had to say no you are so skinny. By the age of 13 I was bigger than her, not hard when you are 6 ft. tall. I have spent a long time hating my body but I am starting to realize that her thinking I am fat (at a healthy size 8)has less to do with me and everything to do with her own insecurities.

Both my mom and my dad always had to make a comment about my weight gains when I was going through puberty, and I am frantic about my weight now as a result.

My dad eventually apologized and started becoming more healthy to give a good example to my sister and I, and my mom, well, she just got worse. She contantly talked about her weight and ours and name-called, fed us diet pills, so on and so forth.

I am lucky that when my parents divorced I lived with my dad because now I have a healthy body image and try to eat right and exercise daily. My dad is also one of my fav. work-out partners. My sister sadly lived with my mom and still fasts and hardly works out because she doesn't want to bulk up or be too hungry!

My mom was always great. I never remember her ever saying anything about her weight. She's always been tall and thin. I don't remember her ever dieting but she always prepared healthy, homecooked meals for us and tried to work out and stay healthy. My dad is the one who has had to struggle with his weight and go on diets due to Type 2 diabetes and heart problems. He tries to eat right and exercise as much as he can. He used to jog when I was much younger but now that he's older and has had to undergo knee surgery, it's harder for him to exercise.

The only comment I ever really got about my body is the fact that I'm definitely much curvier than my mom. I think I've worn a bigger cup size than her since middle school. I inherited her thinness but the curviness from my dad's side. Yay for good genetics. I'm actually happy with the way I look. I workout to be healthy,s trong and fit. I live on my own but the cooking habits from my mom have stuck. I cook for myself and try to make healthy meals with lots of veggies. I think the way my parents where did help to instill a healthy body image and good, healthy habits in me.

I don't remember my mom ever discussing weight. And I think that's so great of Denise to have that attitude.

I'm lucky in that my mom never made comments about my weight. Except for sometimes when she says I'm looking too skinny and need to eat more. I'm naturally tiny and always have been. But she'll say other things... like "put some lipstick on honey you're looking washed out". She does tend to obsess over what she eats though. And it annoys me.

oh...i am so glad to see that i am not in this alone. I too had a mother with multiple eating disorders. Anorex for a time and bulemic. She def. passed on her stigma to me and also made comments throughout my childhood. I prayed to god to give me boys because i was so afraid of subconsciously passing on these issues to a daughter (i have 2 boys) As i get older my obsession with my body gets worse and worse and i feel like i could become out of control at times but i still manage to keep it togehter. When you have an eating disorder nothing is ever good enough. I would say to myself if i could just get back into those pants i will be happy and satisfied. But alas you never are with a disorder like this. Even though i have two boys i have heard my older son say things like how many calories are in that and is that good for you or will that make me fat. It's scary it really is i don't want to pass this on to anyone.

My mom used to say "oh, I was skinnier than you at your age," even though I'm underweight for my height. She makes comments every now and then about my weight--usually that I'm skinny, but that's after I make a negative comment about myself. I blame my eating issues and slight bulemia on my ex-boyfriend. He was a terrible person and I never cared about weight so much before him.

My mother is tiny, under 110lbs. So she always cracks jokes about weight and if I look like I've been eating too many Doritos.

But then I remind her I'm almost a D cup and she's barely an A. Ha. I'd rather be a few lbs heavier and have boobs than not.

My mom had always been slightly overweight, but before she had us kids and before she was married she had a great body. I was a normal weight until I hit 12 and went through "changes" and gained weight, and when that happened my mother never said anything to me about it. It wasn't until I was about 19 that I realized I "was" overweight, so I went on a diet, and it was THEN that my mom would joke about my body. I finally told her it hurt my feelings and she stopped. Now whenever I say something about my body she tells me I look better than I think, but if I'm really not happy about it, I should either just accept it or do something about it.

I would never blame my parents for having an effect on my own body image, but I could say that weight was a constant reminder for me when I was growing up.

My mom was always unhappy with her weight and sometimes would make comments, and my dad (trying to help, but being totally unsuccessful) would ask her why she just doesn't exercise more if she wanted to lose weight. I know it affected my sister because she would make comments to me all the time about how much I was eating. I still worry about her sometimes because she doesn't eat a lot when we're out together, and I wonder if it's because she doesn't need it or is still struggling.

When my mom joined weight watchers she would comment about how many points I was eating when we would go out to eat. One day I flat out told her I wasn't part of weight watchers and I didn't want her 'counting' my meals, and luckily she totally understood.

oh and shelleybaby I totally understand about not wanting to subconsciously pass on those issues to my kids. I really don't want to have kids, but if I ever did, I'd have to be really careful

My mother was always overweight when I was growing up but I was always very thin. However, because as she always said, she didn't want me to look like her, she was always on my case about food. She'd tell me I "couldn't be hungry" or I didn't "need to eat." Consequently, I never developed my own eating habits and thus, once I got out on my own I began to struggle with my weight. I do resent her some for it.

god finally a celebrity mom who has the right idea!
though i do have an eating disorder (recovering!), my parents tried to assure that my sister and i grew up with healthy self image-if they were dieting, they kept in on the down low and i never heard my mom complain to me "i look fat". The emphasis in my house was always on balance and being healthy, not skinny. (how i ended up with an ed is a mystery to everyone)
That being said, my best friend's mom probably has an undiagnosed eating disorder and its definitly influenced my friend's eating. ive had to reign in her disordered eating patterns a few times, unfortunately.

My mom had body image issues and eating issues when she was younger, and she is currently 48. She's been running seriously for about 4 years now and has a fabulous figure. I used to be heavily into competitive soccer and had an awesome figure.

When I was 12, she told me directly that I should "watch what I ate, because I'm starting to get cellulite". I was totally mortified, and from that day forward, I never wore jean shorts again. The only shorts I ever wear are long soccer shorts now, because that comment has stuck with me for the past 8 years, and I'm sure it will continue to bother me for a very long time.

Now I'm a little heavier, and she still makes me feel bad about my food choices, which is ridiculous, because I'm vegan, so I'm eating healthily about 99% of the time.

I applaud Denise Richards for making a conscious decision to stop negative body talk around her children, because I personally believe that this is the key to a better body image and more self esteem in young women today.

My mom never talked about body image much...she has always been VERY into healthy eating though. My sister and I were hardly ever allowed junk food growing up; it was just the way things were. We didn't miss or crave it because it wasn't ever in our house and we never got used to eating it. I didn't like vegetables much as a kid, but I didn't have a choice as to whether or not I ate them. They were on my plate at every meal, whether I liked it or not!
My mom, my sister, and I are all quite thin as adults too...I'm sure the good eating practices that my mom set in place when were little has helped with that (aside from genetics).

And even if we weren't thin, I KNOW that my mom would NEVER have used put-downs with us and never would have made negative comments about our bodies to us. She probably would have just encouraged us to keep eating healthy and getting exercise.

I'm so thankful that I have a mom like this.

Both of my parents have made some comments I don't care for but nothing as bad as what I've heard other people go through. All I can say is I'm at least more comfortable with myself than I use to be even though I feel better now that I lost extra weight, but I don't obsess over trying to be a certain weight or size because I know what's realistic for me. I think if I ever have daughters, I'll want to have healthier foods in the house and encourage them to be active but I'm not going to have them obsessing over every pound.