I have had that happen to me this year as well...

I've had eating disorders for 2 years and after all that weight drama and hospital visits, my family and friends dont trust me anymore.

I've been trying to move on and recover and I started eating organic and semi-vegetarian, as well as exercising to keep myself fit (in a healthy way)

After reeping the benefits of a steady exercise scedule, the pounds came off,I was less depressed, and I felt good about myself if I ate food, and even indulged in treats once and a while!

Thanksgiving day was the happiest I've ever been because i ran that morning and ate all the food i wanted.

My family and their lack of trust accused me of being anorexic, when in reality i eat all day long to keep my body healthy.

It is frustrating but instead of risking looking like i'm in denial, i just accept that they won't understand or beleive me and as long as i'm ok with myself, thats all that matters.

Um you say "thanks but i am healthy and fine" and thats it.

Well the first thing I'd ask you is what are your stats? It could be that you've lost too much weight and she has a reason to be concerned. Being underweight is just as unhealthy as being obese and can lead you to have the same health problems as someone who's BMI is in the high 20's and 30's.

If you are at a healthy weight and BMI and you are doing all this correctly, I agree with Fit that you have a jealous friend. As horrible as this sounds, I've found that a lot of my friends didn't like the new healthy me when I was losing weight and exercising. They were used to me going with them out to eat every night and drinking and having dessert and never ever going to the gym. When I started a new lifestyle, they saw they didn't fit in.

Come to think of it, I'm not friends anymore with some of them and obviously there are more reasons for it than just the fact that I started exercising and losing weight. But, when you do decide to live healthily and exercise it takes away some of your time and it takes away a lot of old habits - so if your friends don't fit in with that and don't want to make an effort to understand and to come up with new ways to hang out, well you might need to do some thinking.

I think "it's most likely your friend is jealous" is an overstatement. Confronting your friends when you are worried about them is tough - most people avoid that like the plague! If someone I cared about said that to me, I would take a close look and make sure I really wasn't getting too skinny. It's easy to get addicted to how exercise and losing weight makes you feel, then go a little overboard. Been there.

If she is just jealous, on the other hand, you need to talk to her about it so you can salvage the friendship (if you want to). Those kinds of feelings lurking in the shadows are very unhealthy for friendships.

Happened to me all the time when I lost weight, usually after saying "I ate better, and started working out" when asked how.

I had people grabbing my wrists, guessing my weight/size, and guessing my eating patterns.

Stay healthy, and you'll know you are ok.

I agree she may just be jealous. I have women at my work who always say how skinny my arms/thighs are, how I must never eat or throw up my food because I'm "so skinny," but the truth is just that I eat very healthy, exercise and just have a high metabolism/natural muscle tone that burns lots of calories I guess. Most of them sit all day and eat honey buns and pop tarts so I've come to the conclusion that they believe anyone who's skinny is anorexic. As long as your BMI is within the range of healthy, you're good.

Digital and Green - I totally agree that random people and co-workers are just jealous!!! It just seems different when it is someone you call a "good friend" who takes the time to sit you down and talk about it...

this is so common, especially with family and close friends. they don't want you to change and they are jealous at times. i agree with the reply and most of the comments.

In my teens I was a rail, but not by choice. Comments and unfounded suspicion can be really hurtful and hard to deal with. I ate like a pig to gain weight, but it was genetics and not eating habits that made me skinny. Most girls refused to believe that however, and were quite persistently mean about it. All I wanted was big boobs and curves, and I really disliked my body for being too skinny.

I'm actually still underweight on an BMI scale, but only just. I'm sure someone that are struggling to get skinny get suspicious about your new body, but as long as you eat and exercise within a healthy balance, and only you will know if you are, then don't let this get you down. Next time she brings it up then explain how things are, with a smile, but be firm. It's easy being caught off guard by such an inquest, but be firm and don't let her trample you.

Yeah, I do agree that a good friend may not just say you're too skinny just out of jealousy (though I've been through several girlfriends that really only cared about themselves) I do agree with sunshyne. She just might not be used to the new you.

I have had that happen to me a lot. I fluctuate in my weight naturally. I can go anywhere from 110 to 130 in a matter of months and back again.
The most I ever dropped in a short period of time was when I had done a volunteer trip to Africa for a month. I left at almost 140 (5'4) and came back at 114...my roomates where freaking out. They all got really upset and almost staged an intervention! I had gone for the month of July and they moved back in with me (they had gone home for the summer) at the end of August. I had kept the weight off when I got home because I was working a lot of extra hours to make up for the time I was away and raise some tuition money. I was a waitress at a bar and therefore did a lot of walking during my shifts. It took a long time to explain to them that I had truly just had a much healthier food intake in Africa and that I had a much more active couple of months between the trip and work. I mean, we lived in the bush and worked at building these amazing children a new school...there was no access to crap food, no would I have wanted to eat it. In a place like that you learn to not to take good food for granted. I was digging trenches and lifting cement blocks for at least 4 hours everyday for a month!
It was hard to get them to see, but eventually they realized that I hadn't been starving myself all summer! One way I got it through to them was by showing them how much I could lift, and doing push ups, etc. They were a lot more convinced when they saw how much muscle I had gained. When you starve yourself, you are frail and weak. So showing them how much strength I had gained helped a lot.

I haven't had people sit me down, but I did get people start making "jokes" about how skinny I was. I was really offended because (a) I wasn't too skiny, I was actually quite healthy and (b) they'd freak out if i started joking about how big they were. In the end, I decided that they were jealous.

what a great time for this post - one of my friends said to me the other day, "don't take this the wrong way ... but if you were to run into yourself you'd label yourself a skinny b*tch" since gaining a ton of weight in grad school i have been the largest of all our friends. last year six of us decided to go on a group diet, with people needing to lose from 10 (my husband) to 70 (me) pounds. Only my husband and I have been successful in taking & keeping off the weight. Now the others (and my husband's parents) tend to comment, joke, push food on us and give health concerns about our weight. I'm 5'3" and 130 pounds, not too skinny by any means. I know they are all proud of us, I just think friends don't like it when friend dynamics change. If you are honestly, not doing this unhealthily, and not too thin - just keep it in your heart that what you are doing is for the best.

When I started my weight loss the first 50 or so pounds came off quickly. I had people asking me if I was starving myself and over exercising. Then when I hit my plateau it became harder and people thought I was "falling of the wagon". I just told them thank you and that I was fine, healthy and on track. As long as I knew what I was doing it made no difference what others thought.

Your girlfriend is probably jealous. Just a thought?

Only when I was really depressed and lost a lot of weight...

I just lost 60 lbs and am planning to lose another 10 - 15. I no longer tell anyone I am losing more, they all say I am too skinny but by any measure you want to use I am still at the very top of healthy. I look very good now but still have a lot of fat in my middle that I am working to lose. I just keep my mouth shut, assure them all that I am working for good health and eating well and then stop. I am one of those apple shapes and I have a great deal of belly fat to lose still but you cannot tell that to look at me. My face is very thin and my hands are very thin and that is what people see. Use the appropriate measures, go with what is healthy for your frame and height. That is what I am doing, my BMI is healthy but at the top, my weight is healthy but at the very top and my measurements show I still have too much fat around my middle. That is what I am looking at.

I would ask her "but do i look healthy?"

HEALTHY != SKINNY

I can totally relate! My sisterinlaw has been interrogating me lately, like to make sure Im not starving myself, and asking me WHY Im losing weight. I know I can definitely lose some weight, but she almost made me feel weird about it.

OMG THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY! People I am supposed to be friends with calling me anorexic and bulemic, which is SO not true!!!! I worked so hard to lose 50lbs. the right way!

Thank you for this article! I am so glad to be reading that I'm not the only one experiencing this!!!!

I stopped talking to the people who were giving me grief about the issue.. they obviously aren't my friends.

I have a friend who barely ever eats and exercises every single day. I try to drop hints all the time that I know what she's doing: "you should have some chicken, protein is good for you", "sometimes you need a day off of exercising, your body needs to recover", etc. but she refuses to eat more than one meal a day and always says that I worry too much about her and she's fine. She's not (I've known her for over 10 years, been on vacations with her, spent countless whole days with her, etc.) but there's only so much you can do. Maybe your friend is right, maybe she's not, but I'm sure whichever it is, you know the real truth. So if she is right, try not to be that girl... and if she's not, take the time to explain to her what you are doing eating-wise and exercise-wise and tell her that she shouldn't be concerned. But if she keeps bugging you after that, then she's just jealous.

i get interrogated about the fact that i go to gym four days a week. i just say "you do realize that everyone is supposed to exercise at least four days a week - it shouldn't be unusual - it's recommended!"
plus people (including friends and work colleagues) FREAKED OUT when they found out i kept a food diary - for some reason this was considered particularly odd behavior.

all of this despite the fact i'm not even underweight according to my BMI

Yep, but it was jealousy. This person had gained a lot of weight, and resented that I was still fit and trim.

Besides, I recently had a routine medical exam. Per my doctor, my results were "excellent," so I was very healthy.

Basically, I told the person I was happy with my weight.

Not to sound arrogant, but my body is close to Shakira's, the pop singer. I don't think I'm too thin at all. I have hips and full breasts. That person was full of crap.

Jealousy does seems to be the issue at hand! When began a healthier eating regimen and excercise plan I was 160 and 5'6, but now I'm 130 pounds. Needless to say this large weight loss, while done in a healthy manner, attracted a lot of negative flack from my buddies who accused me of having an eating disorder. Since this experiance I've decided that it dosen't really matter what everyone else says as long as I know I'm healthy, fit, and happy!!!

When I initially started losing weight, my mom told me I was too skinny when I got down to 140 lbs (I'm 5'3"). I told her I wasn't too thin, and that I was getting healthier. When I got down to about 115 lbs or so, people told me to stop losing weight and that I was getting too skinny. Now, I weigh just around 100 lbs and I really AM too thin, so I'm trying to gain weight to get back to the 115 lbs where my body is happiest.

I'm kind of in the same boat. I was 5'7 and 140 lbs, now I'm about 117. Originally when I was trying to lose weight my goal was 125, but the weight just kept coming off. Sometimes when people make the "You're so skinny!" comment I'm not sure if I should take it as a compliment anymore. I eat a normal amount though, I exercise, and I feel healthy, so I guess that's what matters.

She's jealous. I had a roommate in college who used to order pizza in the middle of the night and pig out.

She gained 20 lbs. in 4 months. I refused to eat with her so she told everyone that I had an eating disorder. Funny how everyone came back to me and said that she was jealous.

I would stay away from negative people like this. They will only hold you back.

Talk to your doctor. If s/he is not concerned with your exercise routine and diet - then it's most likely your friend is way off and you can ignore her. If your doctor is also concerned, maybe you need to work with her/him or a specialist in regards to your exercise and diet.

I have that same problem. friends, my mom don't trust me when I tell them I ate at school, etc. It's true I lost weight, But their main concern is that I also havn't had my period since that time (a year and a half) now I gaint a little (BMI 18 now) but my period is still not coming back.(I don't want to take the pill....bc that would make me gain weight, thats a fact, I know it sounds selfish) is there someone who can relate, give advise or is in asimilar situation???

If the person really is a good friend, the statement is probably out of concern rather than jealousy (unlike coworkers, who probably are just jealous). Sometimes it takes a friend or family member to make a person realize she has lost perspective. If the concern really is unfounded, i.e. you truly are eating healthfully, thank them for their concern, reassure them you are healthy, and move on.

To be honest though, while most Americans are out of shape, I also think that society as a whole has lost sight of what healthy truly is. Living on 1500 calories/day and working out 7 days/week is not healthy.

Two of my, er, 'round' friends always do this to me. Every time we go out since I've lost about 16 lbs, they are like "Oh, Vishaal is not gonna eat ANYthing cuz he's all skinny now..." I'm like don't HATE ! =P

Pwrobel you should talk to your doctor (if you haven't already) If you're not getting your period your body may be telling you something and your doctor can help you decipher what it is.

I understand what you're going through! I lost ten pounds in the past few months, simply by cutting back on my alcohol consumption and working out 5 days a week. I've always been thin, enjoying a mostly vegetarian diet, as well. But now I'm super toned, wearing a size 2 instead of a size 4.

I've been at this weight before, when I lived in Miami, when I was walking on the beach for an hour every day. In NYC, they're not used to seeing me at this lower weight. I've had a few comments like "Don't you eat?" "You're SOOOO skinny!" I simply respond that I've been taking better care of myself. People are threatened by change, especially other females. Be strong, be true to yourself.

I had a similar experience when I lost some weight. I had gotten pretty unhealthy during my last year of college and so I woke up, started exerciseing, and was finally able to cook my own meals so I ate a lot healthier.

Friends (some close, some not) asked me if I was being healthy about it (not all at once, but occasionally in individual conversations). I just took it as they were caring about me. As soon as I explained what I had been doing they were more than supportive. But especially those that hadn't seen me in awhile, just wanted to make sure I was ok.

I wasn't scary skinny (135lbs and 5'5"), but I had lost significant amounts of weight. Be happy that your friends care enough about you to ask hard questions and reassure them that you are being healthy and you appreciate their concern.

My grandma says that all the time, but she says it to everybody.

I hate it when people assume that you are not eating or starving yourself just because you are thin. I am 5'3" and 110 lbs. and I get crap from people all the time. I am 23 now and have always been skinny, it's my genes. I eat really healthy and work out everyday. I just get so mad when people accuse me of being anorexic when I am actually HEALTHY! Like everyone else I think it's just jealousy and insecurity on their part. I am glad to see that I am not the only one that hears this stuff.

I had that happen to me too, when I stareted losing weight, my boss would always try to force bad food on me! Like at our office Christmas party, I had a small slice of pie, I wanted to have enough to be satisfied but not overindulge, and she made me feel awful for not finishing it! She kept saying, dont you like it? you should eat some more. So I just threw it away...crazy

Living in Europe have given me a great perspective on being skinny, because here I'm skinny but normal. At home absolutely everyone is bigger than me. I will say that it is really difficult to live healthy in the US. Fast food, bad bread, processed food, soda's and Dunkin Doughnuts everywhere. So when you try to eat healthy and exercise even if you don't need to(loose weight), then people look at you like you are an alien. I like feeling strong, and I'm never sick anymore. Yay!

Tresjolie, that is so true about europe. Everytime I go there, I lose about 4-5 kg which is a lot within 2 weeks just because food is heathier there and you walk all the time, I never drive there bc the urban construction is so convenient. That is one thing I really miss not having here. And people are a lot thinner...even though everyone eats white bread and other yummy things.

I feel you girl!! I just got married 2 months ago, and bought an old fixer house last month. Everyone told me, "prepare to gain 20 lbs" but instead I've lost about 10 just from running around between my very demanding job and my apartment and my new house and learning how to be a wife on the fly - it's tough! I was thin to begin with so 10 pounds was noticeable, but I am far from unhealthy. On the contrary, I take pains to take care of myself despite my busy schedule. Nonetheless, I was cornered in the elevator by my (female and overweight) boss and two coworkers who said that I was getting too skinny and if I was trying to lose weight I needed to stop. My husband caught me frowning at myself, standing in front of the mirror in my underwear later that evening, and came up and hugged me and told me I was beautiful. I haven't worried about it since. As long as YOU know that you are healthy and you are taking care of yourself, these snide comments from your friend are most likely jealousy.

i've had this happen to me many times before. i'm tall and naturally thin, but i do work hard to maintain a lean, muscular physique, rather than just be a bag of bones. the negative attention usually from the overweight/insecure women in my life, so i chalk it up to jealousy.

as long as you feel healthy and your doctor has no complaints, screw 'em.

I am 5'8" and 125lbs. I have very high cheek bones and a medium build ( bone structure ) however people tell me I look way to skinny! I am a US size 4. I used to be 140lbs and a US size 10 and was happy then as I am now at a size 4. The only thing I can't get over is that everytime I go shopping I tend to grab (M) or (L) vs. (S) or even (XS). I say if you feel healthy then who cares what others say about you. I eat what I want when I want to.

I have never been "big" so to speak, but I have a very very small frame. If I eat normal and healthy amounts of food I am slim. In middle school and high school though I basically had a binge eating disorder. I ate whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, and would go on binges where I felt out of control and like I couldn't stop. It was so defeating and I was so unhappy with myself. I had too much weight on my body for my frame size despite maintaining a size 4. I didn't feel confident in myself and always was looking for ways to lose weight. So this year I started college and started a new lifestyle. I began working out 5 days a week, and eating actual meals instead of junk food binges. I ate very very healthy and started to lose a lot of weight. I lost about 15 pounds. College is when most people put on weight, so the fact that I was losing brought on more comments about my weight than you could ever imagine. Here's just a few things off the top of my head that people have said:
How did you lose that weight, are you anorexic?
Your so skinny, do you eat anymore?
Constantly referring to me as "little" or "tiny"
People asked my sister if I had an eating disorder
People asked my family members if I threw up my food when they responded that I ate
Do they feed you up at school?
What do you weigh, 80 lbs?
Here, do you want some of this cake? (all the time)
Sweetie, please eat something.

How about you stop drinking 12 packs of natty ppl and go to the gym? Or shut up and keep your comments to yourselves. People need to worry about themselves, and keep jealous, blunt, and inconsiderate comments to themselves. Please conquer your own food demons, because I have conquered mine and know that I do not have a problem. I feel healthier, more energetic, more alert, more alive, and more empowered in my health than I ever have. Unfortunately, coming home to all this scrutiny has pressured me into some bad habits and bingeing again.

I should not have to eat to please, because what does or doesn't enter my body only effects me.

And you know what else? No one has said one single word about how I have started to pack the pounds back on. Why so quiet, fat asses?

Now there's some food for thought.